Granted I would have preferred she didn't say it in a police lineup. But you have to take what you get.
They turnip the beets
Spent the whole day looking up at the giant sculptures , I discovered a new species. Myneckisaur. This is my first dad joke post 🙂
I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
My wife has been taking it really, really hard.
Because he conditioned it.
Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday…
… condensed milk.
I can barely walk, but when I fart, the room smells lovely.
Picking his nose!
"Where?" "No. Just the regular kind."
I wasn't very happy but left without making a scene.
You open windows.
It becomes theiranium
but none of them work.
Colorado. (My 8 year old just made it up)
I don’t see why I should pay real money to see fake boobs.
Turns out she was talking about zodiacs. Anyway I've got three months to live.
It wasn't my turn to watch him, and to be frank, if you didn't want to lose him you should have used bigger nails.
The other says “Yes, i think it’s these wicker chairs”.
So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm
My preferred pronouns are He/Hee
It was about a week back.
During the exam he said it's not unusual to become aroused or even ejaculate ……. But I still wish he hadn't
When suddenly it dawned on me
I guess I got the wouldn't glue instead.
Xi went to Guangxi and spoke with the governor about the fine people of China. The governor: Fine people…I don't know. Xi: I will show you. Hey you! Come here! What do you do? Farmer: I'm a farmer. Xi: Let me ask you, if you had two houses, would you give one to the government? Without hesitation the farmer says yes.. Xi turns to the governor who isn't convinced. Xi asks: if you had two cars, would you give one to the government? Immediate yes from the farmer. The governor asks if he may asks a question and Xi says, of course. Governor: if you had two cows, would you give one to the government. Farmer: No. Never. Please don't ask. Xi is confused: But you'd give a house and car, why not a cow? Farmer: I actually have two cows.