But hey, bad brakes have never stopped me before.
Bartender: I'm sorry, we don't serve food here.
I don't know and I don't care.
WARNING: THIS JOKE IS ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE Obi-wanCANNOLI I’ll show myself out.
me: Herbert pregnant wife: but what if it’s a b- me: Himbert
would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
Sounds funny, dozen tit?
I’m a faux pas.
Waiter: What would you like to order, sir? Termite: Table for two.
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
Another day, another Dawn.
It's a bit too foreign-sounding for my liking.
I said, "Well, I'm pretty good, but I don't think I'm ready to compete just yet."
Thanos’ finger snap would have a greater impact if they found a way to make it seem like half the audience disappeared.
Apparently only DC movies can do that.
Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, “I don’t want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade?” “The instructor said, “During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark.” After a pause, the instructor added, “I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I’ve never seen done in my entire career.”
During their get together ,the hoast ask the other two : How do you split your money with the Lord ? "I draw a line on the floor in my church ,then ,i throw the money in the air ,whatever is on my side I get to keep ,whatever falls on his side he keeps it" sais the first priest. The second one replies "well I draw circle and then I' throw the money in the air ,whatever falls inside the circle is mine ,whatever Falls outside the circle is His" . "How do you split your money ?" they both ask the host priest. I' just throw the money in the air and he keeps whatever he wants.
A private tutor
Just two palms and no dates.
Before the invention of the crowbar, crows had to do their drinking at home
I went to the doctors for the first time in a long while. He told me I had a piece of lettuce hanging out of my ass
I told him it’s just the tip of the iceberg
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
So they throw one cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
That one came right out of the orange.
Got home to find my wife had left a note on the fridge that said “This isn’t working I’m going to my mum’s”
I opened up the fridge. The light was on and the beer was cold. I'm not sure what she was talking about.
Because he didn't see the ewe turn.
At least that's what she said in her diary.
We had a good night, he was nice, wants to be a web developer
But I'm a grandfather.