sOMe BoDy GeT tHiS MAn A bErE
Cause people are dying to get in.
Her: what are you supposed to be dressed up as? Me: a walking dad joke. Her: …? Me: I'd be kind of lame.
It’s considered to be a personal fowl.
I said, “Awesome. What type is it?” He said, “ Two thirty.”
The bartender serves the whiskey and all of a sudden a monkey appears running all across the bar jumps and lands with his testicles in the whiskey and smiles to the man. The man, confused, asks to the bartender… -What the hell is this? -Oh, ask the piano player, it is his monkey So the guy looks for the piano player and shouts… -Hey! Do you know why your fucking monkey sunk his balls in my goddam whiskey? -Not by the title, but if you can sing it a little bit I'm sure I can make it work
I think I'm going to banner.
I don't know, but it's gotta be more than three, because my basement's still dark…
They were sole mates
The entire novel was a sub-plot.
I'm worried he may be in a colt
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
"Excuse me miss, I can't find my wife. Can I to talk to you?" He asked her. She said "Sure, but how is that going to help finding your wife?" I said "Trust me, as soon as we start talking, she will appear out of nowhere".
He's been made the CIEIO
129 bugs in the code.
and if you don’t get that that’s the best dad joke ever…. well 🤷🏼♀️
Nothing, they fast.
He was a herbefor
Wii U!!! Wii U!! Wii U!!
It was a pi rated DVD
I went to an auction today where they were selling a cheese grater once owned by both Hitler and Osama Bin Laden.
It was the grater of two evils.
By then he’s a mile away, you have got his shoes, and your can fucking say whatever you want about the cunt.
Still made it to my door.
It’s all about raisin awareness.
I've been taking steps to avoid them.
The police officer said “Hello gentleman, we are looking for two child molesters” the two priests talk quietly to them selves for a moment the turn the the officer and one of them says “Alright Officer we will do it!”
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. After nursing his whiskey he notices a horse in the back of the bar. Curious he asks the bar-tender: "Hey, why the horse in the back of the bar" "Oh, that horse is Jim. We have a pool going. If anyone can make Jim laugh they can have all the money. It's $100 to try." The man thinks for a moment, removes $100 from his wallet, places the money on the bar, walks back, and whispers something in Jim's (the horse's) ear. The horse starts laughing hysterically. The man walks back to the bar, orders another whiskey, shoots it, takes his winnings and leaves. A few months later this strange man comes back to the bar. Again he orders a drink and again he asks about the horse. The bar tender replies: "Well, since you were last here we needed a new wager. Same deal only now we are looking for someone that can make Jim cry". Then places his money on the bar and walks back to the horse and moments later returns ; a weeping horse in his wake and inquires to his prize money. The bartender not letting go so easily asked, "Hold on mister. You have to tell me. how you won both pools" The man replies: "Last time, I told the horse my dick was bigger than his. This time I showed him".
It was just holding me back.
I said "Yes, but I'm going to get whiskey instead"
P. It's like R, but missing a leg.