Somebody: Excel is a very clever app. Excel:
It’s the Wurst Käse scenario.
Last night in jail, they gave us mint chocolates for dessert. I thought they’d be be gross, but they were actually pretty good…
Turns out that in-prison mint isn't as bad as I expected!
The secret service aren’t allowed to yell “GET DOWN” anymore if the president is about to be attacked.
Instead they say, “DONALD, Duck!”
his funfair is next monkey
…but all brooms are pretty much the same.
Translation:Alexa: ‘Helga, bring Klaus a beer”Most algorithms are programmed by men’https://ift.tt/2H2F8UH
Dr. Parker, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl’s junior college, said during class, “Miss Smith, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions.”
Miss Smith gasped, blushed deeply, then said freezingly, Dr. Parker, I do not think that is a proper question to ask me, you should be asking a boy. And I assure you my parents will hear of this." With that she sat down, very red-faced. Unperturbed, Dr. Parker called on Miss Johnson and asked the same question. Miss Johnson, with composure, replied, "The pupil of the eye, in dim light." "Correct," said Dr. Parker. "And now, Miss Smith, I have three things to say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."
You can only ran, because it's past tents.
Last night my girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed…
2 minutes later she told me all the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.
"that makes two of us"
She’s a mathemachicken
It's called 'plagiarism'.
She responded, "Don't you mean cold this?" My kid just dad joked me and I've never been prouder of her.
It must be viral.
One got pissed off.
Because its eeleagle.
Which was owned by William Shakespeare Since he chewed it now I can't say if it is 2B or not 2B
Because they know how to book it.
Hearing aids! When do we want them! Hearing aids!
It runs in the jeans.
They’re free of charge if you’re interested.
He became a maid, he was already accustomed to performing light house work.
I can’t even remember why I was carrying it around
Because he was resisting a rest.
So I packed my stuff and right.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
At the review, his dean was berating the veteran prof for having used the same final exam for the past 20 years. "Don't you realize, professor, that the students have been sharing these tests for decades and that they all know EXACTLY what questions are on the test before they sit for it?" "That doesn't matter," replied the professor, "It's Economics, every year I just keep changing the ANSWERS."
He got a little behind in his work.
You put a little boogie in it.
That's just how I roll.
Their jobs are taxing.
Can you imagine Hispanic?