It caused quite the revolution back then.
I just don't see it myself
Whether they like it or not.
Add spring water.
It was a risk I was willing to take.
It was udder destruction.
You don't know what you're missing
Edit:OMG thanks for the silver Edit 2:WTF OMG thanks for the gold EDIT 3:OMFG THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE PLATINUM
That way it will never come for me.
They said, “If your tents get blown over, you won’t be covered.”
He liked to feel the draft coming in.
She said, I never knew they were so clean.
Does this now make him Postpone Malone?
Black, asian, normal, it doesn't matter
but with extra steps!
The Australians. They asked you to take a “proper gander over there”
When I was younger I threw a boomerang and it went super far and out of sight. I always wondered where it went
and then it hit me (i posted this in r/dadjokes like 5 minutes ago but it fits here too)
My friend has it and it's serious. He got it from a tick bite… It's the first reported case of Corona with Lyme.
He started counting but he fell asleep.
The stewardess stops him and says "I'm sorry sir, you're only one carrion per passenger!"
I still can't believe someone could stoop so low.
It’s always the centre of a tension.
It will be the last thing I do.
Why? Because everything here is recycled. To everyone on r/Jokes, thank you so much for doing your part in saving the environment!
Yesterday, a beautiful girl asked me if I wanted to watch a movie. She said, “What movie would you like to see?”
I said, “You pick.” She said, “You pick.” I said, “I don’t care. You pick.” She said, “Sir, there are people waiting behind you waiting to buy tickets.”
The bear says: “I’d like a whiskey and……………………….coke please. Bartender says: “Why the big pause?” Bear replies: “I was born with them.” Edit: Thanks for the upvotes! I actually lived this joke right before posting while making dinner for my kids (changed the drink and location). Here’s how it happened: 2yo Child, While holding her bear: Um, daddy?Can I have…………………………..milk pwease? Me: Sure sweetie, but why the big pause?! Only I laughed…my ass off. Guess I’ll just, grin and bear all the repost comments.
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.