srgrafo memes seriously need to fuck off
Because one is a repost.
"that makes two of us"
“Man I was at the most awesome party this weekend! We went to this dude’s house and guy had toilets made of pure gold!” “No way!” “Yes way,” insists Fred, “come with me and check it out for yourself if you don’t believe me.” – Twenty minutes later they’re ringing the doorbell at the place. A middle-aged lady opens and Fred eagerly asks her, “Hi! I’m sorry to bother you but there was a party at your house yesterday and my friend doesn’t believe that you have toilet bowls of pure gold!” – The lady looks at him for a moment and then yells into the inside of the house, “Roger, the pig that shat in your trombone is here!”
He's all right now.
It was wrong on so many levels.
That's a deal you can't turn down.
Shop owner: Sure. Where is it? Man: I have no idea.
It scares the shit out of the dog.
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator. Edit: Thanks for the gold (career first) :0
He’ll be born in February.
You can’t tuna fish! “What about the glue?” I knew you’d get stuck on that!
Me and my recliner go way back.
You don't want to press your luck…
My neighbor is a 90 year old with alzheimer’s, I see him every morning and he asks me If I’ve seen his wife. Everyday I have to tell this poor man that his wife died 20 years ago. I could have moved to another house or even ignore his question
But the look of joy in his eyes whenever I answer him is worth the world.
Son: “But dad, your name is John.” Me: “I know, but I was named AFTER Stephen Hawking.”
Because they have 3 periods a game.
I’ve never had a beef with one.
Mine is just a little pail in comparison.
He hates capitalism
A tough old cowboy with grizzled hair, chiseled featured, and hands tougher than the sharpest barbs on new wire told his grandson that the secret to living a long life was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning. With absolute faith, the grandson did as Grandpap instructed. Every morning for the rest of his life, he added a pinch of gun powder to his oatmeal. He grew up, lived happily, enjoyed perfect health, and died at the ripe old age of 107. According to the story in the newspaper, he left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 15-foot crater where the crematorium used to be.
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Because its non stick. Source: my actual Dad.
I apologize to everyone in the sub about my earlier post. I was trying to make a funny joke, but I spelled the title wrong and couldn't go back. After that, everything spiraled out of control. I thought about deleting it and pretending it never happened, even denying it's very existence, but after a moment of reflection I realized: There's no use lying over spelled milk.
She just bought me a $500,000 life insurance policy and a free all-inclusive trip to the Dominican Republic!
One weighs upwards of 1800 pounds, the other is a little lighter.
I’m pretty disappointed to see so many of you.
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Turned out she was seeing someone else on the side.
Professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it. So they decided that in the next time that the professor will start with these kinds of jokes,they all will leave the class as a protest. Somehow the professor heard about the protest. In the next lecture,in the beginning of the lecture he said : "in Sweden a prostitute makes $2000 per night." All the women stood up and started to leave the class. So he shouted after them : "Where are you going? The plane to Sweden doesn't take off until the afternoon. "