Stop Bullying Him Greta
http://imgur.com/gallery/LVgGlW7 My eyes nearly rolled out of my head.
So if you’re a good driver, watch out for women turning
Just how low can some people go?
She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away I fulfilled my promise. She’s dead and berried.
First time posting here, my grandfather's funeral was yesterday, and in honor of him I thought I would share his favourite joke of all time. My grandfather worked in advertisement, and his favourite jokes had to do with bad advertising. His favourite? Women's dresses, half off. Rest in peace grampie. You'll never be forgotten.
One day, someone asked Fred where to find the medical building. Fred replied, "Its over there and to the left. I do brain research in there." Fred is an expert on the hippocampus.
These are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
… but his brother Frank was a monster.
His funeral was very low key
A hooker can wash her crack and use it again.
Cause if they were males they’d be uncles
None of them work
Can’t say I’m surprised.
Oh well, hindsight is 1.
No text found
Every Sunday I read the Times and complain to my kids about that orange haired narcissist dominating the paper by insulting and mocking everyone, especially those closest to him.
That Garfield needs to learn how to think about more than just himself and his next plate of lasagna.
No text found
“After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship.” “If I died and you remarried,” the wife asks, “would she live in this house?” “We’ve spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I’m not going to get rid of my house. I guess she would.” “If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house,” the wife asks, “would she sleep in our bed?” “Well, the bed is brand new, and it cost us $2,000. It’s going to last along time, so I guess she would.” “If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house and slept in our bed, would she use my golf clubs?” “Oh, no,” the husband replies. "She's left-handed!" Edit: punchline is not is bold anymore
buys a young cock. As soon as he gets it home, it fucks all the farmers 150 hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunch, the cock again screws all 150 hens. Next day, it’s fucking the geese and the ducks too. Sadly, later in the day he finds the cock lying on the ground half dead and vultures circling overhead. The farmer says, " You deserved it, you horny bastard!" The cock opens one eye, points up and says, "Shhhhhh! They are about to land!"
The only issue is I’m having trouble finding the right audience.
6:30pm Canada is now testing the vaccine for coronavirus
because it was soda-pressing
Later they split up, man says, I want my fucking blood back, wife throws a tampon at him and says I'll pay monthly.
But it's ok I can stop at any time.
Luckily, it was a soft drink!
I'm dreading it…