They are in for a rude awakening.
"You have been kicked due to inactivity."
Quick answers please.
Deep down, I realized it wasn’t for me.
"you mean a choir?" Fine… How much does it cost to "acquire" a large singing group?
But her aim is getting better!
So I bought her a candle.
First i find out im adopted, then I found out that both of my dads are gay.
It becomes a laughing stock. You better upvote this because… It’s Humerus.
My neighbors said they’ll call the police if I don’t put it back…
He nuts and bolts.
You might think it be R, but his first love be the C.
A head banger
the shower usually gets turned on.
I can never get a straight answer
Like you don't see med students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves unemployed.
Yosef walks up to his mother. "Imma, I want you to know that I am homosexual and I will marry my boyfriend, Raul." After a long awkward silence she frowns. "Raul? That is not a Jewish name!"
My carer says I should be able to try the spoon tomorrow.
Cause they know he actually did it.
They're just remarkable
It can offer a whole lot more.
Cos 0 = 1
He’s now Aware Wolf
They prefer the term "mid-life crisis"
I guess the two of us aren’t going to work out
Because he was in the living room.
There were red flags all over the place
But that’s another storey.
I said, “No. Is that still required?”
They are afraid that social distancing measures may push people over the edge.
There will be no coffin at his funeral.
I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus. I thought to myself, “Wow! That could have been me!”
Then I remembered I can’t drive a bus 🙁
I’ve just been reading that, by law, you have to turn your headlights on when it’s raining in Sweden and I’m thinking…
"Who's going to let me know when it's raining in Sweden?"
I wouldnt mind, but I was only 30 minutes late.
… "go on" says the priest. "I swore the other day" says the man. "continue" says the priest. "I was on the golf course the other day and I hit my drive, it was looking perfect, heading dead straight. About 200 yards down my ball hit a power line crossing the fairway". "and this is when you swore?" asked the priest. "No father, my ball then ricocheted off the power lines and flew off into the deep rough" continued the man. "this must have been when you swore?" the priest exclaimed. "No father, not yet. As I was walking over to the rough to hit my second shot a hawk flew down from the trees, picked my ball up in his beak and proceeded to fly off with it" continued the man. "Ahhh I see" says the priest "this must have been the point where you swore" "Nope not yet. The bird flew over the green the ball fell from its mouth and landed two feet from the hole" The priest pauses for a few seconds "you missed the fucking putt didn't you?"