Sure you did - Joke Jet

This transcends all humor

https://ift.tt/2wiZ43t

Did you hear about the actor that fell through the floor boards?

Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.

And then I laughed so hard (xpost r/gatekeeping)

Trump and Obama in a Barber Shop

Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty. As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife, Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."

No one asked for your opinion

This deserves a spot here .

It doesn’t even make any sense

“I want something like Facebook, but with…”

https://ift.tt/3htWyuz

What’s the difference between a step stool and a 3D printer?

The former is a latter and the latter is a former.

If the opposite of “pro” is “con”,

Then the opposite of “progress” is “Congress” (Dads can be woke too)

[Warning: 18+]

19.

Tell me more, I’m hooked

Bro, you want this pamphlet?

Brochure

Heroes & Villains of Software Development

https://ift.tt/2PM20Nh

A Buddhist refused anaesthetic during a root canal procedure. His goal?

Transcend dental medication.

A judge asks a defendant to stand…

"You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw." From out of the audience a man shouts "You lying maggot!" "Silence in the court!" the judge shouted back. He turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel." "You Goddamned tightwad!" blurted the spectator. "Quiet!" yelled the judge. "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill." "You cheap son of a…" the man starts to shout when the judge thunders back "If you don't tell me the reason for your outbursts right now, I will hold you in contempt!" "I've lived next to that lying maggot for ten years now, but do you think he ever had a damn tool when I needed to borrow one!" I found this and knew I had to post

What do you get when you cross Captain America with the Incredible Hulk?

The Star-Spangled Banner.

Seriously Physics why ?

https://ift.tt/3eIPJ74

It can tho

This got a chuckle out of me.

https://ift.tt/2E0aQR0

If you lock up your girlfriend and dog in the trunk of a car for an hour…

which one is gonna be happy to see you when you open it up?

I’m not great at puns…but with this guy in the driver seat, we’re cruising

Republicans: 🤷🏼‍♂️ “let them eat cake”

https://ift.tt/2olcnNr

Two Watt Bulbs

A man walks into a hardware store and speaks to the cashier. "Have you any two watt bulbs?" "For what?" "That'll do, I'll take two." "Two what?" "I thought you didn't have any?" "Any what?" "Yes please!"