Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger
are talking to each other about their long careers as action heroes. Sly says, "You did some okay comedy, but you have the governorship and political success to be proud of."
Arnold says, "You've had so much recognition in Hollywood. I've never been nominated for an Oscar, you have have been three times. I wish I could be taken seriously as an actor."
They think about it for a few minutes, and Stallone says, "We should do a serious film. A historical."
Arnold grins his huge toothy grin, immediately warming to the idea. "A period piece. That's a great way for our acting comebacks to be taken seriously."
Stallone, as the film auteur, keeps working on it. "We want people to be emotionally affected by it. Music really moves people. Can we do something about music?"
Schwarzenegger agrees. "We could do classical music. You're Italian; you could play an Italian composer."
Sylvester says, "I'll play Vivaldi!"
Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "I'll be Bach."
to fulfill my fantasy… that we have health insurance.
Because they drink it before it’s cool.
He didn’t habanero
Nothing, they're already stuffed…
It was tense.
But it didn't hurt, because it was a soft drink!
It was a little pail…… 😁
Well the flag is a big plus
I replied "Thank you, I used to do gymnastics" and hung up the phone. That was nice of them to say.
It doesn't work all the time though, I just can't put my finger on it.
"BOOM" I hope that blew your minds Edit: Due to popular opinion "Well, this post blew up". And thanks to the anonymous person who gave me my first award ever!
This post says otherwise
Just in case there is a salad dressing . This was horrible lol
The hamster does not want to miss the party and asks the rabbit: "Hey, rabbit, can´t you smuggle me in behind your big ears to the lion's party?" The rabbit´answers, "Nope, I'm not tired of life, if the lion noticed that, it would be my end." The hamster then asks the fox: "Listen, fox, can´t you smuggle me in your bushy tail to the lion's party?" The Fox: "Are you crazy, if the lion gets it right, then i´ll be dead." Finally, the hamster asks the bear and he says, "No problem, I can smuggle you in my breast pocket." When the bear visits the party in the evening, the lion asks him: "I've heard that the hamster wants to be smuggled in to my party, you probably will not support him, will you?" The bear: "No, of course not!" The lion then says, "Then you certainly don´t mind emptying your breast pocket." The bear answers: "Sure, no problem, here's my purse, here's my bowl, here's my ID." Suddenly the bear hits the chest with full force. "And here's a picture of the hamster."
Sometimes, he laughs!
In case they need to draw blood
So I packed all my bags and right.
… the woman asks the man, "How would you like to get out of here?" and the man is stunned. He never thought a woman like her would ever approach him so he agrees. They both get into his car and drive really far. He stops at a cliff with the view of the whole city. Within seconds they start taking off their clothes. After 15 minutes of vigorous sex they finally finish. They both put their clothes on and they both just sit there awkwardly. The woman speaks up and says "I'm a prostitute and its going to be 100 dollars for my service." The man is stunned and saddened that she didn't really like him. He gives her the money and they both sit there awkwardly. The woman tells him that she is ready to leave and the man replies "I'm a taxi driver and its going to be 150 dollars for the ride here and back."
…so when someone asks what your password is, just tell them it’s: 12345678.
Don’t worry, no one got hurt.
But so far I’ve made 2 Vases and a Jug and they are lovely.
The Government in Egypt has asked the city’s taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns…
It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquillity and normality following the recent pandemic. Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week.
I just don’t know why.
…so in the morning I can find out how long I slept.
Because Ken always came in a different box.
Why doesn't it only strike in France?
The Japanese are just loli-gagging.
There was nothing left but de Brie.
But, it’s usually when I walk in