I was going to make a joke about my spine, but I think it was a repost. Did anyone see it here earlier?
It was about a weak back.
That sounds a little far fetched
Suddenly, the bar is as silent as a grave. A guy next to the blind man leans over and whispers "Dude, be carefull. The barkeeper is blonde and an ex-soldier. The bouncer is also blonde and the reigning box champion of the city. And then there is Joe… he's just released from prison after he broke a dude's jaw and his two arms. He is blond too. Are you sure you wanna tell that blonde joke?" The blind man takes a minute to think about that, turns on his barchair and says "OK, FINE… I won't tell the joke… I don't have the time to explain that joke at least three times."
You can hide, but you can’t run
Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar. Every time I have pessimistic thoughts, I put a dollar in…
It’s currently half empty…
One draws a line in the dirt and says, "If you cross this line, I'm gonna punch you!" That was the punch line.
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Well maybe if it wasn't forced to have such strict requirements it would be more confident.
It was the least I could do for the guy.
she just drinks straight out of the bottle.
Put an apple logo on your product.
I was so embarrassed when my wife found me playing with my son’s train set that I threw a blanket over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.
It was ….the worst case scenario.
I told my wife I had the body of a young muscled and sexy man, she laughed real hard and me fun of me
Until she looked in the closet
It was here a minute ago.
A homo sectional
i was like OMg
Now she’s a medium.
You can’t milk a cow for 2,000 years.
The blacksmith returns to the forge as a cowboy walks into the shop and picks one up only to put it back down immediately. "Hot ain't they?" the blacksmith asks. The cowboy replies, "Nope. It just don't take me too long to look at horseshoes."
I went to 4 different ones and they all said insufficient funds…
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