The depths of my belly laugh cannot be fathomed.
A guy accidentally says another girls name during sex
One day, Matt is fucking his girlfriend, Sarah, in his apartment, after they both spent some time together. They're both passionately going at it, and look into each others eyes, and as Matt is about to climax he yells "Ohhh, Angela!" Sarah instantly stops, and gives a sharp cold look, and shouts "WHO THE FUCK IS ANGELA?" Matt, realizing that he just said another girls name during sex, tries to cover it up with an excuse, and replies "Oh? You don't know what "Angela" means? Haha its a newer slang term, which means 'here I come, take my load!'" Sarah gives a puzzled look, and forgets about it in the moment as they continue to cuddle in bed. The next day, Sarah meets up for the first time with a group of girls at her dorm, and meets Rose, and they have a good time and slowly become friends. After hesitating for a while, Sarah casually asks, "Hey, do you know what Angela means? Something boys are starting to say more often?" to which Rose replies, "no, not really." Sarah continues to say that it means "here I come, take my load!" Rose, confused, looks back at her and says: "I heard that's what "Sarah" means?"
As a doctor, I never make a joke about an unvaccinated baby.
But let me give it a shot.
why was the clock afraid it would get sick?
because its hands were constantly touching its face
So a vowel saves another vowel’s life.
The other vowel says, “Aye E! I owe you!”
I just got fired from my job as a taxi driver…
Turns out people don’t like it when you go the extra mile for them.
I want to be a millionaire just like my dad
He wanted to be a millionaire too
Are you tired of boiling water every time you make pasta?!
Just boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later!!
Where did captain hook buy his hook
The second hand store
Hi Reddit! My name is Joseph, and I am the son of Stephen King. AMA!
I would post proof, but it's obvious that I'm Joe King.
My Girlfriend has been repeatedly asking me “Are you a character from Alice in Wonderland?” and it’s getting really annoying
My Friend asked me “Are you mad at her?” I replied “Don’t you start too”
My favorite sex position is called WOW.
It’s where I flip your MOM over.
I used to be a Christian
Woman: I used to be Christian. Man: It’s all right, I don’t really care for those sorts of things. Woman: Thank god! It’s so much better now that I’m Christine!
The devil visits a politician and makes him an offer.
"I can arrange some things for you," the devil says. "I'll get you billions of dollars, unlimited political influence, and anything else you can dream of. All I ask for in return is death, disease and poverty for millions of people around the world." The politician thinks for a moment and says, “What's the catch?"
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, because men can be feminists too.
I was gonna try out archery
But theres too many drawbacks
My laptop was making funny noises today, it sounded like it was singing…
Probably because it's a Dell
Some people are really worried about getting trapped in a cave full of minerals
but to me that's just a minor problem
The creator of winrar is arrested
His trial is expected to last forever
Prove us wrong, Sen. Kelly Loeffler, wife of the chairman of the New York Stock Exchange
https://ift.tt/3fCrkjN
My girlfriend just left me because I’m too insecure.
No, wait, she's back – she was just making lunch.
A muslim woman is getting arrested
The police officer handcuffs her “You have the right to remain silent” he says. She suddenly starts laughing. The police officer notices, and questions her behavior. “Why, you see, I’m just happy to finally have a right!”
Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.
A Chinese guy in the U.S. goes to exchange his currency.
He exchanges C¥10,000 and gets US$1,500. The next day, he exchanges another C¥10,000, but gets only US$1,499. He asks why. The exchange clerk says, “Fluctuations.” The Chinese guy is shocked for a moment, and yells back, “Fluctuamelicans!”
What do french people smoke?
Oui'd.
The western world
A copypasta
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards.
I'm sure that must have been a record.
I caught my husband coming to a brothel and I’m not sure what to do now.
On the one hand he is unfaithful, but on the other hand it was nice that he visited me at work.
TIL that before the crowbar was invented…
…most crows drank at home.
We have hit 20,000 members! Thank you all!
Firstly I’d like to thank each and every one of you who had joined this subreddit. This subreddit full of memes that I, myself, don’t even understand. 20000 people, that’s just… wow!It is an honour to serve this community and every single one of you members, new or old.Secondly I’d like to say how activity in this subreddit has been at an all time high, we are getting more posts than ever, of course that means more reposts, and posts that break other rules that our subreddit has, but on behalf of the moderation team, I’m here to assure you that we have you covered, we want to make sure you only get the highest quality posts when you look at r/sciencememes.I hope to see you again when we hit our next major milestone.If you ever need me, or any other of the moderation team feel free to use ModMail, if you see a post or comment breaking the rules, don’t be afraid to report them.🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
