The image quality really hit it home for me.
Then it hit me.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Now he's just Dave.
I don’t know what to make of it.
Because it's white and it settles on their land.
A young alter boy walks in on a priest masturbating, confused he asks the priest "what are you doing father?" The priest replies "don't worry my son it's natural, you will be doing it soon" "but why father?" the alter boy returns The priest exclaims "because my arm is getting tired!"
Battle royale with cheese.
There's nothing cuter than a babies' coup.
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I have no idea, I just fly the drone.
My wife was breastfeeding him during the earthquake.
The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I almost fell in
Sometimes he laughs.
They're standing at the elephant exhibit when the boy asks his mom: What's that thing hanging down from the elephant? Mom: That's it's trunk. Boy: No, further back. Mom: That's its tail. Boy: No, in between. Mom: Oh, that's nothing. Now run along. The boy is still curious so he walks over to his dad. Boy: Dad, what's that thing hanging down from the elephant? Dad: That's its trunk. Boy: No, further back. Dad: That's its tail. Boy: No, in between. Dad: That's its penis. Boy: Oh, but Mom said it was nothing. Dad: Well, son, you have to realize that your mom is a little spoiled.
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The Fast and the Fuherous.
An algae- bra
but later decided to let it go.
But hay, it's in my jeans.
My boss asked “What companies? “ I answered; "Gas, water and electricity."
In Cuba, a steak pie will cost you 1.50. But a pork pie will cost 1.80, whereas a macaroni pie will cost 2.30 and a chicken pie will cost 2.75.
These are pie-rates of the Caribbean.
My climbing partner didn’t appreciate it Edit: platinum 2 mins after posting. Thank you! Edit 2: It’s raining platinum, hallelujah! Thank you everyone!
A Pennsylvania State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book. She said,"I bet you're going to try to sell me a ticket to the Pennsylvania Trooper's Ball." He replied,"Pennsylvania State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence. He closed his ticket book, tipped his hat, walked back to his patrol car, and left.
Unfortunately we soon drifted apart.
Store worker: Why do you ask? Eggplant: Yeah, why do you ask?
…so I stopped seeing her for a little while.