The Naked Hippie
This joke is one i came up with to annoy my wife. She hates it lol.
A naked man walks into a tailor's shop. The tailor screams at him. "Hey, get out of my store! You can't come in here like that." The man replies, "awww, c'mon dude….cut me some slacks."
Months of training wasted.
Without looking really dumb.
He is basically a giant banner.
Thanks for the Baghdad
We'll see about that…
For God's sake.
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen." Edit: I think it's bad that I'm more excited watching this get ups that I was about the whole of Christmas
He was delighted.
The doctor: "It's ok, they're benign." Pirate: "Count again, I think there be ten!"
People must be dying to get there.
I guess that's why I'm always reposting.
I woke up this morning and saw a bird of prey in my backyard eating avocado toast and yelling “Ok Boomer!”
It was a millennial falcon.
Cop: “Sir, that’s not how a sobriety test works.”
A manhole cover
I didn’t know she had a history with Violins.
I asked the zookeeper about it and he said it was bread in captivity.
This isn't where they be long.
I asked “doc, could you take off your ring?” He said “that’s not my ring, that’s my watch.”
They aren’t going to make them any longer.
After all, 2022 is 2020, too!
God summons Adam and Eve as he would like to offer them each a feature distinguishing men from women
God: "So guys, you have to choose now between being able to stand up and pee and m…" Adam: "Me me memememe! I want to be able to stand up and pee! Thats gotta be the best feature out there.. I choose this one for men! I win, you lose Eve!!" God: "Erm.. alright then.. Eve, I guess you are stuck with the multiple orgasms then."
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.She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didn't want to pay the high prices. After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price." Later in the day, the shopkeeper spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. She took aim at an alligator, killed it and hauled it onto the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blonde flipped the alligator on its back and shouted in frustration, "Damn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either."
Because they’re scared of Wales
A Roamin’ Catholic
He was just fulfilling his civic doodie.
There was nothing left but de Brie
Should I be worried, or is it just a phrase?
You know, one would have been enough.