The peanut butter to my jelly is gone.
Nothing dentured, nothing gained!
ME: Through the glass bit
So I got it in Appleton, Wisconsin.
then I see why they call you handsome!
So I just came in my pants
… guess you could say he sleighed it
Oh you millenials with your newfangled talk about this “curbside pickup” concept you “invented” because of Covid…
Well I tell ya, we garbage-men have been doing curbside pickup ever since the 30's. . . . And we didn't need any of your formal training for it neither, we just picked it up as we went along. . . . And get off my lawn!
STARTLED, BRYAN GASPS ,, "FREDDIE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD?" TO WHICH FREDDIE REPLIES "I WAS BUT I WAS BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE BY A VOODOO PRIEST" "VOODOO?", BRYAN ASKS,"WHATS VOODOO?" "WELL BRYAN", FREDDY SAYS, "ITS A KIND OF MAGIC!"
Grandfather: “Can your dick touch your ass?” Johnny: “No.” Grandfather: “Then no cookies for you.” A number of years later, when Johnny had grown up and was visiting his grandfather again, he asked, “Hey, can I have a beer?” Grandfather: “Can your dick touch your ass?” Johnny: “Hell yeah!” Grandfather: “Well then go fuck yourself.”
They are prosecuted and the judge sentences them all to 100 lashes each. However he wants to look lenient in the eyes of their respective countries so he reduces the lashes to twenty and allows them to have two requests each before being lashed. The Spanish is first to be lashed and requests a bottle of tequila and a pillow strapped to his back. They let him drink the tequila and strap the pillow to his back and then commence the lashes. After 5 lashes the pillow breaks and they keep lashing him. After the 20 lashes he's bawling and his back is horribly scared. They haul him away to be sent back to Spain. The French man is next and he requests two pillows (one per request). After 10 lashes the pillows break and they continue with the next 10. By the end he's also horribly scarred and bawling, but not as bad as the Spanish guy. While they are hauling off the French guy the judge turns to the Brit and says "Well it's your turn now. What do you request?" The British man responds "First I want the original punishment of 100 lashes. I don't believe I should get off easy." The Judge yells "You're crazy! why would you do that?" The Brit responds "Because my next request is to have the French man strapped to my back."
But it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.
The ceremony wasnt much but the reception was amazing!
They were cooked in Greece
It meant the world to me
Wasn't my first choice for a nickname, but I can live with it…
I was an iWitness.
What the Fork is this Bullshirt?
A four-chin teller.
Can’t be spotted
And I’m not getting any straight answers.
Just a paramedics
There would be a mass confusion
When they grow up, two of them become adult knees.
Because they don't even Lyft
I hope you're happy!
Slogan: Guaranteed to last a lifetime
To beat the crowds.