The sad part is that reddit may have been right
What did the grape say when it got crushed?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Why do people in Athens hate getting up early?
Because dawn is tough on Greece.
Don’t tell anyone this…
This is Top Secret . . . . . . . . This is Bottom Secret (Don't tell anyone this either)
My little sister just learned how to crack knock knock jokes and she just used this on me
Her: knock knock Me: who's there? Her: eye lo Me: eye lo who? Her: eye lo you This is isn't funny but I had to share my lil 2 year old's first knock knock joke
“Why didn’t Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway!” My youngest son thought of that all by himself!
He's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska…
People in Athens hate getting up early
…because Dawn is tough on Greece.
Some last names originate from what the family did in the past…
Makes you wonder about the Dickinsons…
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
Now I have Heinzsight.
Elon Musk has developed a new Tesla car that uses karma instead of fuel.
It runs on upvolts.
Farmer Joe’s bull breaks down the barbed wire fence again…
Joe is getting fed up with constantly replacing his fence posts and barbed wire. Chasing down the bull and getting him back to the field is no easy task either. So he goes to his neighbor Steve for advice. Steve being the nice neighborly farmer says "I've got plenty of barbed wire you can use to replace that fence, but I'm getting too old for the hard work. Why don't you hire some of the folks at r/jokes? I hear they're the best at reposting"
What should you call an average potato?
A commen-tator!
What do you call a Mexican midget?
Paragraph, cause he’s not a full essay
I must have an amazing butt
Whenever I'm done talking to people and walk away they say "What an ass"
A guy walks into a bar and asks for a beer “That’ll be five dollars”, says the bartender, and the guy throws 20 quarters onto the floor. Reluctantly, the bartender picks up the coins and serves the beer.
The next day, the guy comes into the bar, asks for a beer, throws 20 quarters onto the floor, etc. The next day, again. On the fourth day, he asks for a beer, and hands the bartender a 10$ bill. The bartender takes advantage of his chance for revenge, throws 20 quarters onto the floor and yells "here's your change asshole!" The guy looks down at the coins and says: "I'll have another beer, please."
Why doesn’t Oedipus use profanity?
Because he kisses his mother with that mouth.
My son told me he didn’t understand cloning.
I told him, "That makes two of us".
How does a lumberjack know how many trees he’s cut down?
He keeps a log.
I just realized, this sub doesn’t inherently make fun of boomer humor, it just compiles it.
Some boomer humor is actually good, some is wholeheartedly trash, but both sides of the spectrum exist, and both can be enjoyed.
I call my penis ‘The Truth’.
Sometimes it hurts and most women can't handle it.
There’s no way video games cause violence.
If they did, school shootings would involve a LOT more tea bagging.
I caught my husband coming to a brothel and I’m not sure what to do now.
On the one hand he is unfaithful, but on the other hand it was nice that he visited me at work.
A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him
“I want to be President one day.” Trump says, “Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded?” The kid replies, “You know what, I’ve changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.”
Lately, I’ve been really afraid of elevators.
I've been taking steps to avoid them.
Why are tigers always honest?
Because they aren't lion
My grandfather says he survived mustard gas and pepper sprays during war.
He's a seasoned veteran.
