The war (o)f (c)urrents
But it’s still not nearly as sensitive as Reddit.
He yells,” Don’t do it, you have too much potential”
Dude 2: “Brochure.”
Because they have no guts.
Diabetes. What? Did you really think I was gonna make a pie joke on my cake day? I waited an entire year to say this
You can say…. I solved the case.
Dad: No problem. (To me) Hey, you live with this guy from now on.
No text found
Fair enough it was her sister's but still…
Billy’s mom comes home. “Billy, what’s wrong?” -“Dad hanged himself in the attic!” he said in tears.
The mother rushes to the attic in a panic, quickly followed by her son. As she gets up to the attic, she notices that nothing is there, and little Billy started giggling. HaHaHa! April fool's mommy!!! He hanged himself in the basement!"
When its apparent.
None. They just keep putting the broken one back in because it promised things would be different this time.
But I am surprised that there are 7884 grains of rice in one pack, and 7892 in another.
Unless you're prepared for the reaper cushions.
Number one, and number two
“Son”… “how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
I was speechless…
Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt from you for years.
"Do you have any kids?" she asked. "Yes," I replied. "I have one child that's just under two." She said, "I might be blonde, but I know how many one is."
A metalhead \M/
Nothing it just waved.
She decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around town and look for odd jobs as a handy woman. The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Julie "Yeah, I have a job for you. How would you like to paint the porch?" "Sure that sounds great!" said Julie. "Well, how much do you want me to pay you?" asked the man. "Is fifty bucks all right?" she asked. "Yeah, great. You'll find the paint and ladders you'll need in the garage." The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening. "Fifty bucks! Does she know the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the wife. "Well, she must, she was standing right on it!" her husband replied. About 45 minutes later, Julie knocked on the door. "I'm all finished," she told the surprised homeowner. The man was amazed. "You painted the whole porch?" "Yeah," Julie replied, "I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!" The man reached into his wallet to pay her. "Oh, and by the way," said Julie, "That's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
It's a step-by-step guide.
Pretty nuts, if you ask me.
Why would I want two empty glasses?" I asked
I called Serena Williams to interview her for a magazine article and asked, “So Serena, What’s your favorite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus. Me: I’m sorry Venus. Could you put Serena on the phone?
One gay man says to the other "Hey you want to join the mile high club right here?" The other gay man replied "Here? We will get caught!" The first man smiles and says "Relax everyone is asleep. Watch" he then stands up and says "Does anyone have a pencil?" To which he recieves no response. This is enough for the other gay man who stands up and gets behind the man at which point they have sex. A few hours later a flight attendant walking down the down the aisle see an old man who has thrown up all over himself. She asks the man "Sir why didn't you ask for a vomit bag?" To which the old man replied "Well the last guy asked for a pencil and he got fucked in the ass"