There! I fixed it . Everyone back to work !!
But none of them work.
That’s seven years in a row now!!
There are no firearms allowed in this building.
An animal cracker.
I called Serena Williams to interview her for a magazine article and asked, “So Serena, What’s your favorite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus. Me: I’m sorry Venus. Could you put Serena on the phone?
It scares the shit out of their guidedogs.
Looking at it now, I see why
I must not have Reddit right.
"You're a blizzard, Harry"
He said “i cant believe its not Buddha”
So far I have made three jugs and a vase so fuck you, Mr. Johnson!
I guess they just weren't up her alley. God she's such a pinhead.
“There’s gold in them/their hills.”
I went to the liquor store yesterday on my bicycle, bought a bottle of whisky and put it in the bicycle basket As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the whisky before I cycled home. Finally, it turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home. Imagine what would have happened to the bottle!…. Edit => Wow , thanks for all the upvotes. However, I feel bad, as it is not my own joke
Two weeks ago a dear friend went into the hospital on bed rest with preeclampsia in hopes of keeping her baby in utero a little longer. To keep her cheered, I visited r/cleanjokes every day and sent her jokes throughout the day. She had her little preemie today … only 3 pounds but healthy. My friend told me she really looked forward to the jokes … and I found all of them here. So thank you to all of you who helped keep her cheered while she gave her precious baby more time.
You can unscrew a lightbulb
CROW: I was with a group of friends COP: What would you call that group? CROW: …I want a lawyer
I have selfish steam issues.
A chicken walks up to him and says "Don't do it, man you'll never hear the end of it.
… so that’s odd.
Now he's just Dave.