In case they need to draw blood
You might have dyslexia.
And that's just the first guy.
It was a pane to replace.
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Looking sharp looking fresh, 10 out of 10 would smash!
I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience applauded when the chef made a meringue.
I was surprised. Usually Australians boo meringue.
It was a risk I was willing to take.
Unfortunatley, I didn't impress anyone at the cremation…
A laughing stock!
Mothers Against Dyslexia
That’s how I roll
A gillie suit.
I just had a really tasty leg of salmon and I feel fine…
edit: I am giving up. Drinking alcohol for the month of February.
Long enough to cover the subject, short enough to keep it interesting
But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.
There were two finalists – one from the most prestigious university in the country, the other a country bumpkin from out West. They were each given 20 seconds to compose a poem about Timbuktu. Up steps the university student and he goes: "On the lonely desert sands, Crossed a lonely caravan. Men on camels, Two by two. Destination, Timbuktu." The crowd went wild – amazing for 20 seconds. Then it's the country bumpkin's turn: "Tim and I Off hunting went. Found three girls In a pop up tent. They were three, And we were two So I bucked one And Tim buck two."
Because they always Ghana order Togo.
I enjoy a little Lyme with my Corona
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
An elderly couple is in church. The wife says to the husband, “I’ve let out one of those silent farts, what do I do?”
The husband says, "Change the battery in your hearing aid."
May he roast in piss.
You can look me in the eyes, You will always see twelve. It'll drive you insane because back to front and upside down I look the same!
A garbage truck
Quarter pounder with cheese
The shitty golfer goes, -WHAM!- "FUCK!" The shitty skydiver goes, "FUCK!" -WHAM!-