They can’t really be this stupid!
Anna 1 Anna 2
The Canadian bartender says, "what's that about?" Man says, "yes."
I wanted to make a joke out of it, but I think it would be very tasteless.
My dad is going through heart failure, and the first text that I get from him after sending him a card says:
“No more corny jokes, now just corn-orary jokes” I’m glad he still has his sense of humor through these tough times
Because everything is already 100% recycled.
I was in the ladies bathroom.
Two thousand and eighteen.
As a kid, if I ever said the word “apparently”, he would interrupt to shout “A Son Riley!”
that if a woman says "smell this" it usually smells nice
The second ones is a repost like this joke
It was an ether/oar situation.
No text found
It’s ok though. Wasn’t my relationship.
He disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.
If you look up the word "flabby".
.. There's usually an Irishman & Englishman in this joke but they're still at the Rugby World Cup.
Unfortunately she didn't know I existed.
A boss said to his secretary "I want to have sex with you. I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor; by the time you pick it up, I'll be done." She thought for a moment, then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said "Ask him for $2000, and pick up the money very fast; he won't even have enough time to undress himself." So she agrees. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend decides to call his girlfriend. He asks, "What happened?" She responds, "I'm still picking and he's still fucking! The bastard used COINS!"
Including my name, address and phone number.
You’ll never get out of it alive anyways.
I want the best bang for my buck
Man: Good news first please, doc! Doctor: We’re naming a disease after you
Some scientists claim it might become a pundemic.
slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, ’You died in your sleep, Ralph. . ’ Ralph was stunned. ’I’m dead? No, I can’t be! I’ve got too much to live for. Send me back!’ St. Peter said, ’I’m sorry, but there’s only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken. ’ Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. . The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past. ’So, you’re the new hen, huh? How’s your first day here?’ ’Not bad, replied Ralph the hen, but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I’m gonna explode!’ ’You’re ovulating, ’ explained the rooster. ’Don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before? ’ ’Never, ’ said Ralph. ’Well, just relax and let it happen, ’ says the rooster. ’It’s no big deal. ’ Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg — his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell. . . . . "Ralph! Wake up you dirty bastard. You've shit the bed"
Dad: Led Zeppelin. Son: Who? Dad: Yes. They were good too.
You would think it'd be ARR and B, but it turns out he's very into hip hop.
And conversely, you should never scissor with the runs.
Because it is capsized.
After you’ve reddit.
Let’s meet up and share a joint.
I don’t know what he laced them with but I was trippin’ all day
But my computer teacher told me 0 != 1