they saw an opportunity 😞
Because you can't see in the dark
Well, I'm not going to spread it.
60s kids: Grandma called. 70s kids: Gramps called. 80s kids: Granny called. 90s kids: Grandmother called. Kids now: Boomerang.
In his home was a protractor, a calculator, and ruler. He was arrested for carrying weapons of math instruction.
She said Yes, but didn't look pleased when I walked off with her cardboard box.
And I suck at flirting. I’m in the dark on this one.
It’s not my first choice, but I’m ok with it.
I was in the ladies bathroom.
A neigh-sayer. 😛
A plain bagel.
Neither have eye
I was having anal sex with my girlfriend. Her father suddenly slammed the door open and started screaming at her. "Dad, I'm sorry!", she said. The father turned to me and, from the top of his lungs, he started screaming: "Are you fucking sorry?"
My girlfriend said that it wasn’t working out between us and that we should start seeing other people.
So I took her wheelchair. Just as I thought… She couldn’t stand to leave me.
I thought, “This’ll teach her for being late.”
He’s a giant banner after all.
The Italian Lover, a virile middle aged Italian gentlemen named Guido was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blond woman.
Things progressed to the point where he led her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he fucked her senseless. After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile, “So, you finish?” She paused for a second, frowned, and replied. “No.” Surprised, Guido reached for her and the fucking resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion. It finally ended and, again, Guido smiled and asked, “You finish?” Again, after a short pause, she returned his smile, cuddled closer to him and softly said, “No.” Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Guido reached for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely managed it, but they ended together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets. Exhausted, Guido fell onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looked into her eyes, smiled proudly and asked again, “You finish?? Barely able to speak, the beautiful blonde whispered in his ear… “No, I Norwegian.”
Me: That’s ….sound advice.
I take steps to avoid them
I guess they must be aimed at a younger audience.
This is Top Secret . . . . . . . . This is Bottom Secret (Don't tell anyone this either)
Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
I avoid meet.
None. They’ll just shoot the room for being black
Some boomer humor is actually good, some is wholeheartedly trash, but both sides of the spectrum exist, and both can be enjoyed.
This morning at breakfast, my dad looked at us very seriously and said, “It hurts me when I say this..”
..”But I have a sore throat.”
You have my Word!
The other guy is fine with it.
Tomorrow will be Revenge of the 5th
Y'know, one would have been enough.
For a man, it’s tulips on an organ.
because I get sick no matter when I eat them.