This asparagus is just…
a spear, I guess.
Well, it's not 6, cause my basement is still dark
“I don’t know. Have you seen my dad glasses?”
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were. ”We have 2 basic needs sir,” replied the villager. “Firstly, we have a hospital, but there’s no doctor.” On hearing this, politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem. “Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in this village.”
But usually most of them have 2
Terrorist organisations take responsibility for their actions.
You look for the fresh prints.
I said its Narnia buisness
It was just a spare, I guess…
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
I want to make sure they're still OK
Because he was in a cent. I know it’s stupid but c’mon
"No, he doesn't like to be disturbed at work".
Because he was ostrich sized
People from Dubai don't like The Flintstones but those in Abu Dhabi do.
On an unrelated note, I suck at darts.
I think it meant a great deal to him.
A new last name.
It’s just how eye roll i guess
Put it in the microwave until its Bill Withers
But they only became more sluggish
Because you can’t C in the dark.
It's just a mediogre movie.
The secret service isn’t allowed to yell “Get down!” anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar. Every time I have pessimistic thoughts, I put a dollar in…
It’s currently half empty…
A guy sees a sign in front of a house that says “Talking Dog for Sale.” He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there. “You talk?” he asks. “Yep,” the mutt replies. “So, what’s your story?” The mutt looks up and says: “Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. “The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.” The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says: “Ten dollars.” The guy says: “This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?” The owner replies: “He’s just a big liar. He didn’t do any of that stuff.”
They are both orange, round and should be thrown out in early November.
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.