Cause they lactose
It was a millennial falcon.
Therapist: Why ? Patient: Yes!
Because 2022 is 2020 too
why does it bring out people's inner child?
Zero fucks were given.
Because everyone knows white mails get through the system faster.
A lost dog strays into the jungle one day. From a distance, a lion sees this and thinks to himself, “Hmmm, this guy looks edible, I’ve never seen his kind before”. So the lion starts running towards the dog with menace but the dog notices this and starts to panic.
As he's about to run he sees some bones on the ground next to him, gets an idea and says loudly, "Mmm… That was some good lion meat!" The lion screeches to a halt and says, "Woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can" and then runs away. Over in a tree, is a monkey who sees everything and realizes the he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion what happened and getting something in return. So the monkey finds the lion and tells him what really happened. The lion says to the monkey angrily, "Get on my back, we'll get him together". So the monkey climbs on the lion's back and they start rushing back to the dog. The dog sees them, realizes what has happened and starts to panic even more. But then he gets another idea and shouts, "Where is that monkey!?! I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago…"
It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Ate a glock in the morning.
I texted her "Oh pun the door!"
Because their horns don't work
I will not mess up this omelette! I will not mess up this omelette! I will not mess up this omelette!
I will enjoy these scrambled eggs!!
My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with wearing different clothes every half an hour…
I said, “Wait, I can change!”
I'm not hurt, but my pottery is ruined
…you need to let that mango
Translation:Alexa: ‘Helga, bring Klaus a beer”Most algorithms are programmed by men’https://ift.tt/2H2F8UH
As she walks in, she goes right up to the pharmacist, looks him straight into his eyes and said; "I would like to buy some cyanide," The pharmacist asked her; "why in the world do you need cyanide?" She said; "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacists eyes got really big and he exclaimed; "Lord Have Mercy I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law. I'll lose my license,they will throw us both in jail. All kinds of bad stuff will happen. Absolutely not. you CANNOT HAVE ANY CYANIDE." The lady then pulls a picture out of her purse showing him her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looks at the picture and says; "Well now thats different You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
One day, her 9-year-old son hides in the closet during one of her romps. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she hides the lover in the closet. The little boy says, "It's dark in here." The man whispers, "Yes, it is." Boy – "I have a baseball." Man – "That's nice." Boy – "Want to buy it?" Man – "No, thanks." Boy – "My dad's outside." Man – "OK, how much?" Boy – "$250." In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover end up in the closet together. Boy – "It's dark in here." Man – "Yes, it is." Boy – "I have a baseball glove." Man – Remembering last time, asks, "How much?" Boy – "$750." Man – "Fine." A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your ball and glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball." The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says "$1,000." The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That's way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess." They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, "It's dark in here." The priest says, "Don't start that crap again!"
The distributive property.
It was a little drum attic.
Dead ant, dead ant. Deadant deadant deadant, dead ant, DEAD AAAANT. Deadant.
It doesn’t pay much but the tips are huge.
But so far I've made three jugs and a vase and they're lovely.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
he came running jk rowling
I don't know why I put it on in the first place.