This is epic😂
She is going to be very pissed when she finds out.
He sent in ten puns, hoping at least one would win, but sadly, no pun in ten did.
“My roof has disappeared”
He yells,” Don’t do it, you have too much potential”
The woman on the other end of the phone replies: "Just a minute". The blonde thanks her and hangs up the phone.
A husband and wife who travel with the circus go to an adoption agency, but are met with skepticism.
"Do you really feel that a traveling circus is suitable evironment to raise a child?" the lady from the adoption agecy asks. "Certainly," he couple reply. "We have a beautiful, fully equipped, state of the art nursery that we will be traveling with. Still showing reservations, the woman asks, "What about the child's education?" "Not to worry," the couple assure her. "We have a full time tutor with years of experience that can provide our child with the finest education that money can buy." "I see," says the woman behind the desk. "But what about the child's health?" "We also have in our employ a full time nurse with a degree in pediatric medicine who will be able to attend to all of our child's needs." "Well, it certainly sounds like you've thought of everything. Were you looking to adopt a girl or a boy?" "Doesn't matter", the couple tell her. "As long as it fits in the cannon."
It’s where you go if you don’t believe in gosh.
but she did migrate to California in 1849.
Because it's the scenter
My son's shitty drawing of a snake
Worst virus my college servers has every been exposed to. When you been an online college student and now all these other students are taking online classes and the college servers can not handle this coronavirus
Knock, knock. Who's there? Spell. Spell who? Okay, W-H-O.
I said, “Weird. I was about to ask you the same thing.”
But ive choked a few cougars.
But it's a whisk I am willing to take.
A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see you do it." The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right, Idiot, get in."
But she had too many issues.
Blue and Yellow combined
I will stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.
… guess you could say he sleighed it
Add spring water
She asked for ice for some imaginary wound, and as I gave her the ice pack (shaped like a circle with five fingers), she told me, "Thanks, Dad, I just needed a hand." I've never been more proud.
It scares the dog.
He’s out standing in his field. Edit: Wow, my first ever silver! Thanks guys.
Sally sells C-cells by the Seesaw.
Three college graduates—one in Math, one in Engineering, and one in Economics—sit for a job interview.
The question they’re all asked is “What’s 2+2?” The Math graduate goes to the whiteboard, fills it with a proof, and concludes that, “A solution exists.” The Engineering graduate consults his addition tables, writes some calculations down, graphs his results, and says, “3. But we’ll make it 5 just to be safe.” The Economics graduate locks the door behind him, closes the curtains over the windows, and finally whispers, “How much do you want it to be?”
After a while, the man’s wife says, “Keep it on porn, you already know how to fish.”
Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog…
She was a mathemachicken.
Seriously, how low can you go?
He said, “Its pretty lit.”