This is just a repost with a dead meme attached to it
A guy was admitted to the hospital with 8 plastic horses in his stomach.
His condition is stable now.
Why do Native Americans hate April?
Because April showers bring May Flowers, and Mayflowers bring white people.
A new pilot has his first day in a real cockpit and he asks the pilot…
"Wow, there's so many buttons and switches. How do you remember what they all do?" The captain replies, "I don't, but for the love of God don't touch the dusty ones."
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
I saw a homeless guy living in a tyre. I did him a favour and punctured it.
Now he's living in a flat
If Trump really wanted Hillary to be locked up…
He should have hired her!
You ever hear the one about the bad meat carver?
Yeah me either, he couldn't make the cut.
What do you call karate for amputees?
Partial arts
What do you call a deaf man…
Whatever you want, he can’t hear you.
As I slipped my finger inside her hole….
I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter. I took my finger back out and within seconds she was going down on me. "I really need a new boat", I thought to myself.
How did harry potter get down the hill?
he came running jk rowling
I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set all by my self.In a moment of panic,I threw a bedsheet over it
I think I managed to cover my tracks
What’s an atom with a bad sense of humor?
Not a laughing matter.
Therapists only want one thing
and it's fucking discussing.
We’ve got a Polish sound guy
Cheque one too
It’s hardly known this, but one of Shakespeare’s characters actually died at childbirth.
It was Othello… and then Othgoodbye.
I was gonna try out archery
But theres too many drawbacks
Why did the twin elephants have to leave the beach?
They only had a pair of trunks!
I was captured by ISIS after Iran away
Now all I’m China do is to survive
I took a class about origami and gambling
They told me “you gotta know how to hold em, and how to fold em.” 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️ Dad out.
The “Avengers: Endgame” trailer had 289 million views in 24 hours.
It would have been 578 million views, but…
Did you hear about the photographer who got lost in the woods?
He died of exposure.
A bear walks into a bar..
He walks up to the bartender and says "Can I get a……………….beer?" Bartender says "Why the big pause?" Bear responds "idk man I was born with them"
Murphy calls to see his mate, Paddy, who is bedridden with a broken leg.
Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?" "No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunningly beautiful 19 year old twin daughters sat on their beds. "Hello there girls, your dad sent me up here to fuck ya both." "Fuck off you liar!" "I'll prove it," Murphy says. So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?" "Of course, what's the use of fucking one?"
You shouldn’t fart in the Apple Store
because they have no windows
