This is just to much

Stop saying life is a joke. It isn’t.

A joke has meaning.

But there is no last stage :-p

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So a couple I came up with today.

“I want something like Facebook, but with…”

https://ift.tt/3htWyuz

On a birthday card in the wild.

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My favourite sex position is called “WOW”

It’s where I flip your MOM over

It makes so much sense guys!!!

Wife just opened the car door for me..

..would have been a nice gesture had we not been driving at 60mph

While the rest of you are self quarantined…

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You should send a picture of your ex to NASA.

Apparently they are desperate to get a photo of A hole that sucks all your time and energy.

When you are just dying to make puns on everything

Three girls are in the back seat, their parents are in the front

Girl 1: Mom, why did you name me Violet? Mother: Oh Violet, your grandmother dropped a violet on your head the day you were born. Girl 2: Mom, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: When we were walking out of the hospital the nurse put a daisy on your head. Girl 3: Jwoandbwoqmsbonbf, whwhsbsowngk Father: Shut up cinderblock

Oh no, they’re at it again…

I just laughed for 10 minutes!

It’s a real struggle!

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Yup. Would probably do something like dropping the phone on my face or refrigerating the laundry :P

Flex Tape exists

What did they find under Michael Jackson’s pillow?

Billy's Jeans

They don’t do the reverse cowgirl in Alabama.

You never turn your back on family.

It really do be like that doe

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And poof, she’s gone

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0 days without a dad joke

I learned this today!

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ladies and gentlemen, my FAVE POS T

Finally no fighting over color names

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my uncle be like

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T H O N K 💯

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Driving home after a hard day at work, a man gets pulled over by a cop. His patience is wearing thin.

"Tell me, officer: would it be a crime for me to insult you? Hypothetically speaking, of course – I think the police are wonderful – but in theory, could you arrest me if I said you were a cunt?" "Yes sir. That would count as disorderly conduct." "What about if I were just to think it?" "No sir. You can think whatever you like." "In that case, I think you're a cunt."