This is my 2nd meme boys n’ girls
If i can’t get sex, I bi it
So that he has 3 squared meals per day
This sub was and still is for boomer comics, things that boomers find funny, or straight up boomer garbage. I’ve noticed that many people are posting memes about boomer humor, which isn’t what this sub is for. Thank you
I'm not sure what he laced them with but I was tripping all day..
… be ready to deal with the re-percussions.
While he was there he received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. To add injury to the insult, she said she wanted back the picture of herself that she had given him. So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. In all, he got more than 25 pictures of various women (some with clothes and some without). He then mailed them to his now-former girlfriend with the following note: "I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back."
I just can’t part with it
Because the horns doesnt work
Because freedom rings
Being a bit bored he started executing loops and rolls, never worried about being able to catch up to his lumbering charge. He got on the radio to boast to the BUFF pilot. "Ha! Anything you can do, I can do better!" The bomber pilot replies, "Oh, yeah? Let's see you do this!" and keeps flying straight and level. The fighter jock asks, "Um… What did you do?" The B-52 pilot says, "I just shut down two engines."
He was delighted.
Edit: Wow, this blew up. Thanks for the gold!
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He asks his mom for a brand new car so he can drive around, but his mon tells him that if he wants his own car, he'd have to work for it and get it himself. The mom leaves for work the next morning, and when she comes back that night she sees all the street lights in her cul-de-sac covered in bed covers. She goes into her house and finds her son hauling what covers remain out the door. "Jeffrey!" she exclaims, "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" "You don't know?" the kid says, "Sheet posts are the best way to get the car, ma!!"
I have no words to describe how angry I am
He lost track of thyme…
She said, “Yes, the other ones were at least sevens or eights”.
Something terrible’s about to happen… I can feel it…
No wait, she’s back She just went to make a cup of coffee
They can't shake it so they need to blow dry.
… and says to the bartender “I’ll take a whiskey coke please.” The bartender says “no worries I have just the thing.” And sets an apple on the counter. The man, baffled, asks “what the hell is this, I wanted a whiskey coke.” The bartender says “take a bite.” The man takes a bite of the apple “wow this tastes just like whiskey!” Bartender “Turn it around.” The man turns the apple around and takes another bite, he exclaims “wow this tastes just like coke! I’m gonna eat these all night!” A little while later a 2nd man walks up to the bar and asks for a gin and tonic. The bartender says “no worries I have just the thing.” And sets an apple on the counter. The 2nd man says “what is this? I don’t want an apple!” The bartender tells him to take a bite. He does and then exclaims “wow this tastes just like gin!” Bartender says “turn it around.” The man turns it around and is amazed that it tastes like tonic water. “Wow I’m going to eat these all night!” Finally, a while later a 3rd man walks into the bar visibly drunk. The bartender asks what he would like to drink. The 3rd man says “Man I don’t want a drink, all I really want is to eat some pussy.” The bartender says “Oh don’t worry I have just the thing.” And sets an apple on the counter. The 3rd man extremely confused says “what is this for?” The bartender says “Take a bite.” The 3rd man takes a big bite of the apple, makes a horrified face and yells “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS! IT TASTES LIKE SHIT!!!” The bartender, along with the two men at the bar say in unison “Turn it around.”
Sometimes he laughs
The difference is staggering.
When the Pope answers the door, Dopey steps forward and nervously asks "Your Excellency, I wonder if you could tell me if there are any dwarf nuns in Rome?" "No Dopey, I don't think there are," the Pope replies. The other six dwarfs start to giggle. "Well, are there any dwarf nuns in Italy?" Dopey persists. "No, none in all of Italy," the Pope answers more sternly. The dwarfs begin to laugh even more. "Are there any dwarf nuns in Europe?" This time the Pope is much more firm. "Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe." By now, the other dwarfs are laughing aloud. "Your Excellency," Dopey demands. "Are there any dwarf nuns in the whole world?" "No Dopey, " the Pope snaps. "There are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world!" The six dwarfs start jumping up and down, chanting "Dopey fucked a penguin! Dopey fucked a penguin!"
He’ll be born in February.