This is my horse, Mayo.
Friend: why did you call him that, he’s not even a white horse?
On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring. On the other hand, you don’t.
It produces a greenish flame and it looks really cool while I'm lighting up my cigarette.
It was a Shih Tzu.
I took its shell off to see if it would go any faster. If anything it just made it more sluggish
He’s called Broco Lee.
Apparently you need to be a complete dick.
He says to the first Priest "I'm Jesus Christ." The Priest replies "No son, you're not!" So he says to the second "I'm Jesus Christ." He says "No son, you're not." The drunk says "Look I can prove it." He takes the two Priests into the bar. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and says "JESUS CHRIST YOU'RE HERE AGAIN!!!"
And its called "Fast Ten, Your Seatbelt"
The homeless man asks the rich man, "What'd ya get for your wife this year?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Tesla." The homelesa man asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them." The homeless man nods. The rich man proceeds to ask him, "Well, what did you get your wife this year?" The homeless man thinks about it for a second and replies, "A pair of slippers and a dildo." The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The homeless man proudly reponds, "Well, if she don't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself."
Me: Thanks babe. You Mrs. Right!
Edit: Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold! Edit: Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold!
If they did, school shootings would involve a LOT more tea bagging.
Everyone went down on her
No text found
Because a group of fish is called a school.
When she gets there, she is confused to find everyone furiously cracking eggs, dumping flour, and mixing batter. She turns around and sees an entire section dedicated to decoration, with elaborate concoctions of blueberries, frosting, and tiering at every station. Finally, she sees someone who appears to be in charge. She runs over and asks the man, "what is going on here?" The strange man replies, "everyone here is doing their best to better their souls." Confused at the cryptic answer and curious about the strange man's traditional Mongolian garb, the woman asks him to elaborate. The Buddhist Monk replies, "My dear, having cake is the best way to gain Karma."
It came completely out of the purple…
He got a little behind in his work.
It was here a minute ago Edit : fixed the spelling
Let's all just stick to inside jokes for now.
It's like he blew up overnight.
She didn't look pleased so I said "suck in your stomach!" She quickly replied, "that's not going to help" I retorted, "it might let you see the numbers"
I still fell for it though
Money for nothing, and the chicks for free
I remember it like it was yesterday.
I was the control group.
Cause 2022 is 2020 too.