This is still funny, right?
because they're hiding.
When you get an early Christmas present in January.
Because they have no guts.
that you misread the first line of this joke
It was only a minute long.
I had them tested and one came back positive. Google says it’s terminal.
I lost my case
Fine. Suit yourself
A nice game of gluten tag always cheers me up.
I'll let you know.
My neighbour's "No Tespassin" sign.
Its like she's never seen a penis before.
and I thought to myself, "Not only does my son have a stupid name, but he's also a terrible driver."
No more jokes about the profit.
No text found
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
I failed my driving test today. I was driving down a country road with the examiner, when a rabbit ran out right in front of the car.
I remembered my instructor said you should never swerve or try to avoid an animal, because it's dangerous and you can end up causing a more serious accident.You should always just hit it and keep on driving. Had to chase that little bugger for miles across the fields before I finally got it!
why does it bring out people's inner child?
My Ma: I'm not buying you a car.
or maybe not.
A synonym roll
Because they're always behind a few bars and can't find the key.
Bartender asks “What would you like, Mr. President?”
One of them goes to an Egyptian family and is named Amal while the other goes to a family in Spain and is named Juan. Years later, Juan sends his picture to his birth mother, who upon receiving it tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. His husbands responds,"They are twins, if you have seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
it was a counter-attack.
One day, a young weasel went to the bar. The bartender took one look at him and says, “You are under-aged. I can’t serve you beer.” The weasel asks, “What can I have?” The bartender replies, “I have bottled water, juice, energy drinks, and pop.” “Pop!” goes the weasel.
To go with the traffic jam.
Two women are in the hospital. Their labor has started, but not progressed enough for delivery, so they are in a room waiting together. "Is this your first child?" says the older woman. "No," says the younger woman. "I have another." "I have three." Continues the older woman. "After the first kid, my husband was so sweet. He bought me a diamond necklace." "Oh, how nice." Said the young woman. "After the second, he bought me a new car. He said I deserve the best." "Oh, how nice." Said the younger woman. "And after the third, he bought us a new house. It was expensive, but he said his family was worth it." "Oh, how nice." Said the younger woman. "So, what has your husband gotten you?" "Well, we only have one child. After he was born, my husband thought I needed to clean up my language, so he got me lessons at charm school." "Is that so?" "Yes. Now instead of saying 'go fuck yourself,' I say 'oh, how nice'."