This meme format is past the point of irritating
BUMP!… BUMP… BUMP… Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog h e makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him. BUMP… BUMP… BUMP… Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him FASTER… FASTER… BUMP… BUMP… BUMP… He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping… clappity-BUMP… clappity-BUMP… clappity-BUMP… …on his heels, the terrified man runs. Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket… and, [Wait for it…] The coffin stops.
A few months ago, we tried out a concept known as “Memeless Mondays”, where, you guessed it, (most) memes are prohibited every Monday. Specifically:For the duration of this day, all image jokes must only use OC meme templates or not use any template at all (i.e. not be a meme).We won’t check for OC very thoroughly – if it can’t be found with a quick Google search for keywords, or isn’t an edit of an easily googlable template, you’re probably okay.All posts made which break the above criterion will be removed; no strikes will be administered for this violation.Response to this was generally very positive, and allowed higher quality content to shine once a week. The only reason for its abandonment was lack of available moderation – we have that now, so it’s coming back!It’s been a while, so if you have any concerns or suggestions regarding MM, leave them below. Otherwise, see you Monday.
They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
A Genie zooms out of the bottle and shouts "THANK YOU FOR FREEING ME FROM MY MYSTICAL CHAMBER! YOU MAY HAVE THREE WISHES!" The guy says "Ha, Make it four" The Genie claps his hands and cheers: "IT SHALL BE GRANTED! YOU NOW HAVE THREE WISHES LEFT!" The guy stumbles "Oh wow, okay umm, then I wish for 300 wishes!" The Genie claps his hands and cheers: "IT SHALL BE DENIED! YOU MAY ONLY WISH FOR MORE WISHES ONCE! YOU NOW HAVE TWO WISHES LEFT!" The guy asks "Wait, you count it as a wish even if you deny it?" The Genie claps his hands and cheers: "IT SHALL BE ANSWERED! YES, AND ASKING QUESTIONS COUNTS AS WISHES TOO! YOU NOW HAVE ONE WISH LEFT!!" The guy screams "SHIT!!!!" The Genie awkwardly claps his hands, and says "Thanks man, I've been stuck in that bottle for 4000 years" as he runs towards the bathroom
Irishman got a job at the zoo, first week there, someone asked him “would you fuck the gorilla for £2,000?”
Irishman said "on three conditions, I don't wanna kiss it, I don't want any of my friends or relatives to find out, and give me a couple of months to get the money together".
This time it’s the devil trying to get the priest out of the child.
But I called her Bluff.
Often, she's a hoe.
Some are born with it while others have to get it pounded into them.
Police: “Open the door!” – Man: “I don’t want any balls!” – Police: “What? We don’t have balls!” – Man: “I know.”
He laughs at them sometimes
The *For Biden* files.
One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?" The other says "No"
A solid 10, but also imaginary
I had to drop out to graduate.
I'm currently working knights.
He’s a small arms dealer.
Colorado. (My 8 year old just made it up)
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
So she dyes her hair brunette and goes out for a challenge. She finds a shepherd with a big herd, and asks him if she can guess the number of sheep in the first try and if she guesses right she could keep one of the sheep. The shepherd agrees. After a good look at the herd she thinks and tells him: 258. The shepherd in amusement that she guessed the right number, agrees to give her a sheep of her choosing. She takes another look, grabs one she liked and starts to proudly walk away. Then she hears the shepherd calling her, she turns around and he asks her: If I guess the natural color of your hair, would you give me my dog back?
"I'd like a whisky and……………coke" Bartender "why the big pause?" Bear "i don't know, i was born with'em"
It was a third degree burn