This person who laughed for thirty minutes straight
"Why the big pause?" – says the bartender. "I don't know. I was born with them" – says the bear.
Now millions of people can breathe easier.
She must be really rubbing her hands together now!
I’m clean now!
The mirror: you should see yourself right now The echo: meh, I've heard it all before.
You could say he was bread for the job.
Me: That’s ….sound advice.
Pun in, ten dead.
My teacher always starts her class by reading one of the posts from r/jokes, but today she’s absent.
So instead, a subreddit.
A 17 year old male walks into a drug store. He says "I've been invited to Christmas dinner at my new girlfriend's house. Afterwards I hope there is a chance I get lucky, you know what I mean" Clerk: "How about condoms then? They could come in handy. Here's a pack." The young man after paying walks to the door, stops, smiles, comes back: "you know what, the mom is also smoking hot, I think I'll take another pack, just in case I get extra lucky." Christmas eve comes around, the boy sits at the dinner table and doesn't say a word. After a while his girlfriend says: "if I had known you were so quiet, I wouldn't have invited you." the young man replies "if you had told me your dad works at a drug store, I wouldn't have come."
They're really making headlines!
Where you put the cucumber
I always say, "No, thank you. I'm not interested. But thank you for considering me, good day."
I can't stand that kind of shear incompetence.
Now he makes deadjokes.
As I was standing there, I noticed four grave diggers walking about with a coffin. Three hours later and they’re still walking about with it. I thought to myself, “They’ve lost the plot.”
He’s too self absorbed.
Mom: You sure about this? I think you deserve better. Me: But mom, I love her so much! Mom: I'm talking to her.
Dad: I don’t know who that is. Me: how do you not know who Stan Lee is? Dad: Because you haven’t told me his last name. Me:….
Now I’m clean
It was a nice jester.
I hope they're happy
Me and my wife stopped talking for weeks after we blamed each other for not defrosting the refrigerator.
Finally, I decided to break the ice.
I'm not sure either. Sir Cough I guess.
"Honey, what did you think of me when you first saw me?". "My first thought was that I wanted to fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry", he replied. "And what do you think of me now darling?", the old woman asked. "I think I've done a pretty good job"
One girl says “the sky is definitely blue” that is wrong One boy says “the leaves are definitely green” that is wrong One boy asks “are farts lumpy?” The teacher says no, He says “then I definitely shit my pants”
Those were the Good Years.
When they're going "CHEEP!"
Because they never turn their back on family
I it helps when I Kant Handel.
Me: "oh, just a bit of light reading"
A millenial falcon