This seems excessive.
What did 2 tell 3 when they saw 6 acting like an idiot?
Don’t worry about him. He’s just a product of our times.
My friend just called me the worst best man ever…
I was speechless…
![Assault and Pepper [OC]](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/wyfla1s8f4n41-400x498.png)
Dad jokes are at all all-time high during quarantine times
Analysts say it's the worst pundemic ever recorded in modern history.
I’ve genuinely lost my voice
Said no one, ever
They should stock ATM’s better.
I went to 4 different ones and they all said insufficient funds.
Why was Ben 10 considered so powerful?
Because the previous kid was Ben Nine in comparison.
Why did the mods of r/iamatotalpieceofshit cross the road?
To collect money from Joel Michael Singer.
Thank you student loans for getting me through college.
I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you
Did you hear about the dwarf that escaped by rappelling from Alcatraz?
I would tell you, but it’s a little condescending.
I watched a documentary on frogs the other day
It was ribbiting.
A job applicant was asked, “What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?”
“Well,” he began, “my main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality—telling what’s real from what’s not.” “Okay,” said the interviewer. “And what about your strengths?” “I’m Batman.”
Back in the day, everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Now, everyone owns a car and the rich have horses…
My, how the stables have turned!!
Dogs can’t operate MRI scanners.
But CATSCAN.
Wife: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, I'm dad. Wife: No you're not.
Something a climate denier told me
I dont know if this goes here but I think you all would find it funny.I was talking to a cousin about climate change (he claims its a hoax and that it is happening, but says not because of humans, in the same conversation). He said something that I just cant understand he said”if a fact CANNOT be disputed than it is not a fact.”Last time I checked facts where facts because they could not be disputed.
Man, I love my furniture.
Me and my recliner go way back.
It’s hardly known this, but one of Shakespeare’s characters actually died at childbirth.
It was Othello… and then Othgoodbye.
Stephen King has a son named Joe.
I'm not joking, but he is.
What do you call a cheap circumsision?
A rip off.
Last saturday I went to a stand up comedy event
The only joke there was me, so you can imagine how bad it was.
What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
The people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones, but the people in Abu Dhabi do.