This sub basically.
He told me a Knock Knock joke, and I refused to answer.
"Fuck off," I said, "nobody's got arms that long"
I can barely walk, but when I fart, the room smells lovely.
The Stern- Liouville operator
Son: tears welling up please give me a name dad I'm almost 17
She said 'hardback?' So I replied, 'yeah, with 4 legs and little heads'
Today in sex ed our teacher asked what’s the difference between a male reproductive system and the female reproductive system.
Apparently there’s a vas deferens
..At Taco Bell.
And i knew right away that this isnt working out
For Hispanic Attacks.
It was a shitzu.
Confused, I asked him what he was doing… He said: “Just checking my balance.”
Because Recycling old shit is what Redditors do best . P.S.A – Do recycle ♻
Father: "Well son, before sex it's a delicate little thing. Almost like a tulip that hasn't fully bloomed". Boy: "What about after sex?" Father: "You ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"
When I was 6, Santa gave me coal for Christmas, so the next year I decided to get back at him and poison his cookies.
Somehow, the bastard found out and killed my dad.
He ate it before it was cool. 🤦🏻♂️
Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.
When it’s full groan.
But John came fifth, and won a toaster.
Student : "So you're saying both fields are good, but without an attempt to understand the universe, the search for deeper mathematical truth is empty?" Professor : "I'm saying you'll spend most of undergrad doing math."
A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached him. “Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?” Moshe replied, “I used to read the Jewish newspaper, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews disappearing through assimilation and intermarriage, Jews living in poverty. So I switched to the Arab newspaper. Now what do I find? Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world. The news is so much better!”
They'd crack each other up
During the Battle of Britain, in just one day, he destroyed 8 German aircrafts killing 32 Nazis. Literally the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
then I see why they call you handsome!
I looked at it and said, “This isn’t for me.”
The last thing I need is a bunch of baby couches running around the place
DAD: I’ll have the rabbit stew WAITER: only if you promise not to say “waiter there’s a hare in my soup” after I bring it … DAD: I’ll have the chicken