This sub is not meant for memes
Thog don’t care
Today everyone has cars and only the rich have horses. oh how the stables have turned.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
“Everything is big in Texas,” says the bellhop. The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. A mug is placed between his hands. “Wow these drinks are big!” The bartender replies, “Everything is big in Texas.” After downing a few, the blind man asks where the bathroom is. “Second door to the right,” says the bartender. The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally enters the third door, which leads to the swimming pool, and he falls in. Popping his head up from under the water and flailing his arms, he shouts, “Don’t flush, don’t flush!”
but this isn't even my final form.
Anyway, my dad just caught me masturbating
7 was a registered six offender
He always leaves you hanging
The police say they don't know what to make of it.
Boil the hell out of it.
Through the engineers.
Unfortunately, the correct answer is Frankfort.
With a match made in Heaven.
They'll kill your dog.
I think I’m going to promote him to branch manager
New password is “chickenkiev”
As they sat at their table, taking photos of their food for social media, one of the photographers realized he hadn't been given water. He approached the bar and asked for a glassful, with which the bartender obliged. Rather than immediately leaving, he stood there and stared at the bartender for a moment before returning to his seat. Soon enough, he found himself thirsty again, and took another trip to the bar, and once again stared at the bartender. This happened again and again throughout the night, with the bartender becoming progressively more frustrated by the photographers persistent requests for glasses of water and uncomfortable stares. Finally, on the photographers fifteenth trip, the bartender loses his cool and yells, "Take a pitcher, it'll last longer!"
I serve laxatives at one and everyone loses their shit
…for complete cavity protection…
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are. Me: Trick question… dogs can't whistle.
I said, “I don’t notice a vas deferens.”
People were really grateful.
I’m a Singer songwriter.