THIS WAS EPIC 😂😂😂
Knock knock
Who's there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas! Knock knock. Who's there? Anna. Anna who? Anna happy new year! Merry Christmas and a happy new year, Reddit 🙂
Son: What rhymes with orange?
Dad: No, it doesn’t
Confucious say a man who runs in front of bus gets tired.
A man who runs behind gets exhausted.
Chewbacca crashed the Millenium Falcon the first time he flew it.
Wookiee mistake.
When You Realize That WWE Is Nothing Like High School Wrestling
When You Realize That WWE Is Nothing Like High School Wrestling
Instead of a swear jar I have a pessimism jar, every time I have a negative thought I put a coin in.
It’s currently half empty
Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn’t change color?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
Telltale Games will shut down…
Fans will remember that
What do you get when you cross an Irishman with a German?
A guy who's too drunk to follow orders.
My friend David lost his ID.
Now he's just Dav.
Dad what is Mozart doing now?
He is de-composing.
This morning at breakfast, my dad looked at us very seriously and said, “It hurts me when I say this..”
..”But I have a sore throat.”
When I was a teen, my dad showed me a 30 minute PowerPoint presentation on why one should always wear a condom during sex.
All the slides were just pictures of me.
A bottle of coke just fell out of the fridge onto my foot.
I’m so glad it was a soft drink
What did Obi-Wan say to Luke at the dinner table?
"Use the fork Luke"
How warm is a baby just before their birth?
Womb temperature
Whats the difference between running in front of a car and running after a car?
When you run after the car, you get exhausted. If you run in front of it, you'll get tired.
Do you know why people are buying up all the toilet paper?
Because people are losing their shit.
What do you call a wandering caveman?
A meanderthal.
Sharks have a party in the toilet
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The girl with the big booty and a lisp wasn’t at work
She must have called in thick
My wife just gave birth today and after thanking the doctor, I pulled him aside and sheepishly asked, “How soon do you think we’ll be able to have sex?”
He winked at me and said: “I’m off duty in 10 minutes – meet me in the car park.”