Three married men are complaining about their wives.

The first one says: I only get laid on my birthday and holidays! It really sucks, man.

The second one laments: I don’t even get that! I don’t even remember the last time I got laid.

They turn to the third one and ask: John, how about you?

John scratches his head and says: Me? I get laid almost everyday.

The first two are dumbfounded. ALMOST EVERY DAY? They ask.

John says: Yeah. Almost on Monday. Almost on Tuesday. Almost on Wednesday….