Tic Tac toe!
No text found
You spend too much time on the web
So a worker asks the owner: -What should we do? -Ask dumb Jimmy, our zookeeper, he'll probably fuck her for couple hundred bucks. So the worker goes to Jimmy: -Hey Jim, would you fuck a lioness for 200$ bucks? -With pleasure, but I don't have the money now, can you cut it from my salary?
He replied, “No sun.”
At a second hand store.
It was Won Ton
You’ll get Jurasskicked
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945
"If you ever come close to me, I'll fucking skin you alive. When we're sleeping, you don't fucking touch me. You hear me? Don't ever talk to me, either." "Fucking great." I thought, "First day in here and I'm already married."
He's now a seasoned veteran.
I told her, "I think you mean fewer".
Sext her out of nowhere and then text back right away “sorry wrong person”
When the son comes back, however, he says he's a Christian now. The father goes to his friend exasperated to explain the situation, and his friend says "that's funny, I sent my son to Israel last year, and when he came back he also said he was Christian." The two men decide they should speak to their rabbi about this, but when they explain the situation, the rabbi says "that's funny, two years ago I sent my son to Israel, and he also came back a Christian." The three men decide only God can have the answer, so they pray. The rabbi says aloud "dear God, all three of us sent our sons to Israel, and all of them came back Christian." God's voice booms down "that's funny…"
My wife and I were talking about people owning strange animals and she said, “I’ve always wanted to get a manatee.”
I said, “Thank you very much, I’ll have it with milk and two sugars please.”
I don’t think I can ever repay you
As I slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter… I slid my finger back out, and within seconds, she was going down on me.
I thought to myself, “I really need a new boat.”
In a dadabase….
The doctor takes one look at him and says, “Well, I can clearly see your nuts.”
I refuse to go that level
The title says it all.
Me: I have no idea what he's for.
It’s lucky my older brother told me about it, really.
The second one is a repost.
I went to the opticians and they were telling me about revolutionary technology to allow us to see out of different parts such as our arms, nose and even our ass. Intrigued, I asked "when will this technology would be available?" The optician replied "arm and nose is coming in 2019, hindsight is 2020"
They were Prime mates.
Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
Because it’s the first time he’s gotten the most votes.