To bee, or not to bee, that is the question
I looked at it and thought, “This isn’t for me.”
White people are always annoyed that only black people can say the n word, but white people have some phrases only they can say too
Things like “Hi Dad!” and “Thanks for the warning, officer.”
It was fake noose
She looked surprised
A man entered his home and discovered that someone had stolen every single lamp present in the house.
He was absolutely delighted.
So he calls an animal trapper and explains the situation. The trapper says he'll be right over. About an hour later, the trapper rolls up in a huge pickup truck with a large metal cage in the bed. He gets out of the truck followed by a tough looking pitbull. The dog looks pretty beat up, with a torn ear, a jagged pink scar running down its side, and what appears to be a chunk of its lip missing. The guy looks nervously at the dog. "So, what's the plan?" he says, shaking the trapper's hand. "Pretty simple, actually," the trapper says as he unloads a ladder. "I climb up onto the roof, knock the bear to the ground. Then Trigger here grabs the bear by the balls and drags it to the cage. The bear will go in to get away from the dog, the cage door will snap shut, and we're done." The guy looks dubiously from the dog to the bear to the cage. The trapper then pulls a shotgun out of a holster in the back of the truck and hands it to the guy. "Wait, what's the shotgun for?" the guy asks. "Simple. When I climb the roof, if the bear knocks me off, shoot the fucking dog."
He will be rolling in his grave.
She replied "At least we know it'll be quick"
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Because you don't know what he laces them with and you'll be tripping all day.
He went to the retail store
should have handled that better.
So i send them to school wearing crocs and anime shirts and let other kids beat them instead
Because they seem shady.
A private tutor
Me: "Sweet dog you got there" Policeman: "Yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog." Me: "Still in training, huh?" Policeman: "What do you mean?" Me: "Nevermind"
Nothing, it stands for nothing.
But it is graphs where I draw the line.
By their name. Don’t be a dick.
Judge: "Repeat infractions?" Me: "Ok, 3/5 of my parking tickets are bogus!"
I tell everyone she’s into human trafficking.