Trigger my timbers
Apparently my property line isn’t where I thought it was.
I asked my friend the baker what is the key to being successful in the business and making good bread…
99% of people were annoyed when their tent fell down.
But none of them work.
Saturday and Sunday…the rest are weekdays.
Went to the doctors the other day and said ‘ I’m having loads of trouble hearing people when they speak’
Doctor said ‘ right ok. Can you describe the symptoms?’ I said ‘yeah Marge has blue hair and homer is a fat bloke’
. Edit: thank you kind stranger for the Silver!
I come from a long line of wood winds, so I was shocked when my daughter said she wanted to be a percussionist
But thinking back, when I checked her instrument case, the cymbals were always there.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
He won the no bell prize.
I can’t believe that even after 15 years of the show ending, people are still making “Friends” references.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
But I didn’t think that would make any cents
I'll let you know
But one look and I realised it was a small price toupee.
She was seeing other people
I won't be able to live with myself.
Shockly shocks users into self-improvement. Homeroom Homies beloved jails will be the new college. Introducing Special Situations, the first blog focusing on entrepreneurs in post-moral markets.
Special Situations explores nascent opportunities in markets defined by post-moral dynamics. A market is “post-moral” if participants claim to be agnostic about how I’m their products or used, or the consequences of their use, but rely on the product to be used immorally to profit.Each post interviews a founder operating in a post-moral space.Our first interview was with Preston Everblue, founder of Homeroom Homies, who believes prison will be the new college.Homeroom HomiesOur first interview was with Sarah Dermer, founder of Shockly, who believes calibrated shocks delivered through special glasses can encourage self-improvement — within bounds agreed to be corporate partners. ShocklyPlease sign up! [special situations ](specialsituations.substack.com)If you don’t like emails, follow me, Chad Lin, on Twitter @thechadlin.
BUMP!… BUMP… BUMP… Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog h e makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him. BUMP… BUMP… BUMP… Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him FASTER… FASTER… BUMP… BUMP… BUMP… He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping… clappity-BUMP… clappity-BUMP… clappity-BUMP… …on his heels, the terrified man runs. Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket… and, [Wait for it…] The coffin stops.
My wife was surprised to hear that I actually enjoyed her punishment of making me sleeping on the sofa. I said that it made me feel manly, like I was camping.
…with a really angry bear somewhere close by.
It caused quite the revolution back then.
No One was shocked
He's stuck at a crossroads between three schools – Harvard, Hampden-Sydney, and Alabama. To try and get some guidance, he asks his father, "Well, what are my chances of getting laid at Harvard?" "Oh, not good at all," his father says. "They're too focused on studying and working to have any fun at all." "What about Hampden-Sydney?" "Well, it's an all guys school, so unless you're into that, I wouldn't be too confident." "Well, Alabama has to have something, right?" "Alabama!" the father says with a chuckle. "Well, at Alabama, I'd say your chances of getting laid are pretty relative!"
I told him that I had Clausible deniability.
Now it’s aware wolf
Because it's made of hide
One is a fat, white, mindless killing machine with no conscience or future, and the other is a bear.
I said I wasn't ready for competitive wanking
He had never met herbivore.
Guess I should take an antacid….
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