Tumblr strikes again
So we can die in peace.
You look a bit flushed.
The remaining 2 jumped out of the way.
A weasel walks into a bar. The Bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
The other replies, "That's crazy, you don't know nothing about no lion taming." "Yes I do!" "Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?" "Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down." "Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?" "Well, then I takes that whip they all carry, and I whip him and whip him until he backs down." "Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites it in two? What you gonna do then?" "Well, then I take that gun they all carry, and I shoot him." "Well, what if that gun doesn't work? What will you do then?" "Well, then I pick up some of the shit that's on the bottom of the cage, and I throw it in his eyes, and I run out of the cage." "Well, what if there ain't no shit in the bottom of the cage? What you gonna do then?" "Well, that's dumb. Cause if that lion comes at me, and he throws the chair out of the cage, and he bites the whip in two, and my gun don't work, there's going to be some shit on the bottom of that cage, you can bet on that."
But they are a solid number two.
Now I've got two adult knees.
I guess I have too much time on my hands.
Gravity: notices your buldge Proto star: Blushes
The father sighs, places his hand on the boy's shoulder and replies wistfully: "We tried, but nobody would take you"
I'm a dais, I'm a DAIS! I'm a DAIS!
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
They'll kill your dog
The audience was different each week so he did the same tricks over and over. The problem was, the captain's parrot saw all the shows and began to understand how the magician did every trick. He started shouting in the middle of the show: 'Look, it's not the same hat. Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table. Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?' The magician was furious but, as it was the captain's parrot, he could do nothing. Then one day the ship sank and the magician found himself floating on a piece of wood with the parrot. They glared at each other but said nothing. Finally, after a week, the parrot said: 'OK, I give up. Where's the boat?'
God rest their soles.
I responded with, "no, but we can arm wrestle any day."
They did unspeakable things to me.
19 and easy to spread
Because when you cry, you moist your eyes.
She's ayyyyy sexual.
I hated it at first, but now I love it.
He said, “Go ahead. Knock yourself out!”
No,actually it is adopted. My wife and I were unable to conceive a dog naturally.
He kept talking about how he wants to shake things up.
She wanted to see the task manager
but geography is where it’s at!!
Jane always had a certain attraction to Tarzan. So during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex.
"Tarzan not know what is sex" he replied. Jane then explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said …."Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree." Stunned by his response, Jane said: "Tarzan you have it all wrong, you don't shag a tree to get yourself off. Tell you what, I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground. "Here" she said, pointing to her privates,"you must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer to her and kicked her as hard as he could in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to grasp for air and screamed: "What the bloody hell did you do that for? "Check for squirrel." he responds
They have anty-bodies
"He seizures when you're sleeping."
She replied, “Yes, it is and don’t call me Shirley!” I guess I left my phone in Airplane mode again…