He won the conviction, but slipped up on appeal.
He doesn't know if he will ever come back or not. So, he puts on an iron chastity belt on his wife, gives the key to his best friend Micheal and says, "If I don't come back in 3 years, set her free". Michael agrees and brave Knight Edward sets out on his big black horse. He gallops toward the hills, knowing he may be leaving his beloved city forever. When on top of the hills, he looks back, just to have one last look at his beloved city. To his surprise he sees a big cloud of dust coming towards him. He waits and soon can make out the shapes of a horseman coming toward him as fast as the poor animal can manage. When the horseman is closer, he can finally see it is none other than his best friend Micheal. Michael stops his horse, still panting "you gave me the wrong keys".
It’s okay though, I only have super fish oil injuries.
"Chris, close the god damn door if you're taking a shit"
..British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by the Brits, in the weeks that followed, a team of American archaeologists dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York bulletin: "American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the British". One week later, the Punch newspaper in Ibadan, Nigeria, reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his backyard, Abimbola Obuijsule a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Abimbola has therefore concluded that more than 250 years ago, Africa had already gone wireless."
It was harder to deter gents.
Au Au Au
but my roommate took it and rolled it into a joint. Now he’s high on my list of people I never want to see again.
I suck at gardening
I told her, I for one, like Roman Numerals.
It's about time.
I said its Narnia business
Only 25 looters per store please.
Which might explain why she was called "Vulner".
But I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
Thanks for nothing
She said, "That's how it seams"
It’s not much, but it’s a rewarding job
In the end, he came around.
I've only got my shelf to blame.
When a cop pulls you over, he tells you a joke.
My wife accused me of having an affair with a woman from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerwchllyndrobwllllandysiliogogogoch.
I said, "How can you say such a thing?!"
How you been?
She walked up to him and said this isn’t working out.
A plane bagel
But they only became more sluggish