I told him it's much easier to woo a cake.
They were pirates of the car I be in.
They always seem sketchy.
The golfer replies, " In case I get a hole in one."
She's probably pulling your leg.
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
All I wanted was one night stand.
Cause when you have it, you can't think straight.
After all, there were plenty of red flags.
They both get stoned after sex
Looks like she is preparing some kind of barbie queue.
She said, "Oh the baby is mine, I get to keep it"
He's below c-level
…..but I never got the chants.
I thought to myself “I can’t turn that down!”
If you eat chloroquine phosphate, drink a pint of Chlorox, shoot-up rubbing alcohol, shove a flashlight up your ass, and crash on a tanning bed, you will never get Covid-19.
My bio says otherwise
In the Ark hives
…that still makes him Ire-ish.
As she comes around a corner, she sees an extremely large rabbit lying dead in the middle of the road. It looked to be about three feet tall. The rabbit had a blue and pink vest on. On the ground next to the bunny was a large wicker basket, and strewn about the road was an abundance of candy, small simple toys, and colorful eggs. She exited her Cadillac to take a closer look. A moment later an older man driving a red pickup truck pulled up behind her Cadillac. He was wearing overalls and muddied work boots, and had the look of a farmer. He noticed the woman's car had stickers on it for a famous cosmetics company, and true to that profession, her hair and makeup were exquisitely done. He walked up next to her to see what the issue was, took in the scene, and started sputtering, jaw agape. "Is that… is that… that can't be…" The woman's eyes narrowed, and her face set with a look of determination . She went to the back of her car, opened the trunk, and then walked up to the dead rabbit carrying an aerosol can. She liberally doused the bunny with the contents of the can, then hesitantly stepped back. After a few moments, the bunny leapt to its feet. It quickly gathered all the candy, eggs, and toys into its basket. It then hopped about ten feet down the road, turned, and waived. It then hopped another ten feet, turned, and waived. And again, and again, until after several minutes it had disappeared behind a hill. The farmer, having watched it all, turned to the woman and asked, "Ma'am, just exactly what was in that can?" The woman just silently handed the can to him. He took it and read the label. "Hair Spray. Brings new life to hair. Adds permanent wave."
It's more difficult to deter gents though
"It’d be a shame if someone put an ‘s’ at the front and an ‘e’ at the end."
It was all bark and no bite.
Yep. It can happen.
edit: I am giving up. Drinking alcohol for the month of February.
Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday…