Umm…. that was called SARS

And chemistry is full of solutions

The nun agreed… A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?” The nun replied, “He went that way.” After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, “I can’t thank you enough, sister. You see, I don’t want to go to Iraq.” The nun said, “I understand completely.” The soldier added, “I hope I’m not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!” The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls…. I don’t want to go to Iraq either…

Because 2022 is 2020 too

Outlaws are Wanted…

GLOVES! Nah, just kidding… He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

Photoskinthesis.

Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor. The doctor tells him, “Due to an unfortunate mixup with the lab, we are not sure of your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer’ The man, clearly frustrated, asks, “Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information?” The doctor calmly suggests, “I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. If she comes home, don’t let her in.”

Lemonaid

Heavy Infantry

Because someone rubbed him the wrong way.

It's the best thing since sliced beard…

She must have called in thick

Dead ant, dead ant. Deadant deadant deadant, dead ant, DEAD AAAANT. Deadant.

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Thanks.

Teapot.

Because I put them on his bedroom window.

I just tell her I hadn't noticed a vas deferens

Tractor

Boobles.

She’s a mathemachicken

I stopped seeing her for a while.

Cu Tips of to my classmate for telling me this

A πthon.

He’s all right now

“I don’t know. Have you seen my dad glasses?”

He had no body to go with

I can never get a straight answer

than the men who mention it.

We should hang out sometime.

And I gotta say I counted 17 inaccuracies on my right hand alone.

A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician go on a hunting trip, they are walking through the woods when they spot a deer in a clearing. The physicist calculates the distance of the target, the velocity and drop of the bullet, adjusts his rifle and fires, missing the deer 5 feet to the left. The engineer rolls his eyes. 'You forgot to account for wind. Give it here', he snatches the rifle, licks his finger and estimates the speed and direction of the wind and fires, missing the deer 5 feet to the right. Suddenly, the statistician claps his hands and yells "We got him!"

He was attacked by a giant crab

Wife: I have to tell you something. I'm pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad Wife: No you're not.

No they chlorofeel.

The bartender says "What can I get you Mr. President?"

He's all right now.

It'll come back to bite you.