Wait until the boomers hear about VR
….who would have thought her sister had it the whole time
It’s a dart board on a ceiling. (original: r/jokes)
Unless it's 3 am in your house and you don't have children.
Some boomer humor is actually good, some is wholeheartedly trash, but both sides of the spectrum exist, and both can be enjoyed.
I don’t believe him.
I learned next to nothing.
but it's been a week already and I keep getting hungrier and hungrier.
A man goes into a restaurant. He has a seat at a booth and opens a menu to find out that none of the foods have prices next to them.
He asks the waiter, “How much is the Fettuccine Alfredo?” The waiter says, “A penny.” The man exclaims, “A penny? How much for a steak?” The waiter says, “A nickel.” The man is astonished. “Are you serious? Where’s the man who owns this place? I’d like to shake his hand!” The waiter answers, “He’s upstairs with my wife.” Confused, the man asks, “What’s he doing upstairs with your wife?” The waiter smiles and says, “The same thing I’m doing down here to his business.”
Butane, because it's lighter fluid…
Me: No, but I can try Bohemian Rhapsody
On the other hand, everything is OK
I met this sexy girl in a club tonight and told her she reminded me of my little toe. Giggling, she asked, “Why?! Is it because I’m small and cute!?”
"No…" I said. "It's because later, I'm gonna bang you hard on my coffee table."
Because he felt empty inside
But when the time came, I finally knew
I wonder what kind of birds they will grow into.
They said I wasn't putting in enough Shifts, but it was really a lack of Control. I see this as a fresh Start, I thought I would never Escape.
One takes things literally and the other takes things, literally.
In a statement he said his palms were sweaty knees weak arms were heavy and presented to the emergency room the vomit on his sweater already .Later tests conclude it was in fact moms spaghetti
They don’t want to admit that a piece a meat makes them happy
Well I know that. How else could you sell it?
Pencils confused him…2B or not 2B?
"Chris, close the god damn door if you're taking a shit"
Me and my recliner go way back.
Cuz they lactose.
A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips." The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."
But seriously, thank you to everyone on this sub. I end my class periods with a joke of the day every day and I usually take them from here. There is never a day where the students don't unanimously sigh at the punch line!