Want to hear a joke about paper?
Nevermind it's tearable.
I’m a CASHEW!
So I gave her two Popeye's biscuits and no drink.
He was really good at spiking the ball!
They don't have Seoul.
A mathematician walks into a bar, asks for a beer for himself, and then 10 beers for everyone else there.
The bartender says, “Wow! That’s a different order of magnitude.”
everyone starts acting like you've been best friends since 1st grade once they see what you have.
You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
I don't know and I don't care.
They live past the age of three
Suddenly, a stranger appears and starts to talk with her. Stranger: What is your name, sad lady Lady: My name is Edit, I am the daughter of Solomon and Alta. I am asking for help because I have nothing to eat Stranger: I just won this golden coin in a game of poker. I feel guilty for keeping something earned so dishonestly. Looks like you could have better use for it. Edit: Wow, thanks for the gold, kind stranger!
I have come up with a strategy to keep my kids from misbehaving around Christmas time. I keep empty wrapped boxes under the tree and when one of my kids misbehaves, I throw one in the fireplace
The situation changes however, when I run out of children
Unfortunately, she blew it!
Because they single file to hide their numbers.
Sorry, just practicing.
Aisle B, back.
How? I took a day off
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them”
I never strike in the same place twice.
They don’t have the guts.
but when I do, he laughs
me: No, I kinda just lie there. wife: THIS- [takes off doctor costume] this is why we never role play anymore!
And in 2033 we shall witness the rise of the quaranteens!!!
Tell a redditor a joke he will post it for a lifetime
I said "Sure. Why wouldn't I want $300,000?"
Security stops him and says there are no firearms allowed in this building.