WCGW if i push my Friend for Fun
A tambarine! Thank you! Thank you very much!
It could be a lifesaver.
Because they can go from Dayton to Marion in less than two hours.
"Wow, there's so many buttons and switches. How do you remember what they all do?" The captain replies, "I don't, but for the love of God don't touch the dusty ones."
….really give me the crêpes.
It's called making the little things count.
But you didn't like it.
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She’s a mathemachicken
Edit: Wow! This blew up! Thanks for the gold!
Three college graduates—one in Math, one in Engineering, and one in Economics—sit for a job interview.
The question they’re all asked is “What’s 2+2?” The Math graduate goes to the whiteboard, fills it with a proof, and concludes that, “A solution exists.” The Engineering graduate consults his addition tables, writes some calculations down, graphs his results, and says, “3. But we’ll make it 5 just to be safe.” The Economics graduate locks the door behind him, closes the curtains over the windows, and finally whispers, “How much do you want it to be?”
…we'd never hear the end of it.
He says, "Hey, will you let me bite those big ol boobies of yours for $1,000?" Christmas was coming and decided she could use the extra cash, so she agrees. The two walk around the corner and the woman strips off her shirt and bra, exposing two of the best boobies the guy had ever seen. The guy dives right in, motorboating them like he's the captain of a ship and sucking and licking every square inch of em. About 10 minutes go by, and the somewhat frustrated lady says "Well are you gonna bite em?" The guy replies "No, because then I'd have to give you $1,000."
I loaned my girlfriend $100 sometime soon after we met. After 3 years, when I broke up with her, she returned exactly $100.
I guess I just lost interest in that relationship.
Cheque one too
I said, "People who sell vegetables and fruits are grocer."
He could binomial!
With a pair of Caesars
Every calculator counts.
It’s the Wurst Käse scenario.
…by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy…
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Then why do banks have so many branches?
It’s open Mike night!
Her: Oh, cool! It's.. uh? Me: (proudly) It's my thermos! From work! Her: (reaching towards me) Well, uh, the line work is certainly.. Me: (slaps hand away) Don't touch the thermos tat.
The doctor says, "What? Why would I do something like that?" The woman says again, "Kiss me now!" The doctor replies, "Certainly not!" The woman demands a third time, "Doctor, I want you to kiss me!" The doctor answers, "No! It's unprofessional, highly unethical, and to be honest we probably shouldn't even be having sex right now!"
so I can watch it with my family.