We all know where the Big Apple is…
But does anyone know where the Minneapolis
Edit: some of us don't spend our lives on r/jokes and as such don't realise things are reposts.
Because he conditioned it
me: i'm terrified of random letters therapist: you are? me: [screams] therapist: oh i see me: [screaming intensifies]
It’s pretty dope
Ah, this one got me good 😀
They contacted his next of Ken. That's a damn good joke. I'm proud of that joke.
Me: Why? Doctor: Because it's distracting.
We really have gone bat, shit, crazy.
" One little boy says, "None, the shotgun scared them all away." Teacher says, "That's not the answer I was looking for, but I like the way you're thinking." Boy says to teacher, "I have a question for you." "There's 3 women eating ice cream cones. 1 is licking, 1 is sucking, 1 is biting. Which one is married?" Teacher answers (slightly embarrassed), "I imagine it's the one sucking." Boy says, "No, it's the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way your thinking !"
Even J.K. Rolling has a hard time keeping all the characters straight.
It means a lot to him
So when they come back to port, they can scandanavian
Dad: "Well pick one son, you can't do both"
He loves Tibet.
Can’t say that I‘m surprised
A: she would never accede a minnow fan! @SwiftOnSecurity
But I accidentally picked 7 up.
She said yes, all the others had been nines and tens
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It was a high steaks mission.
Now that I listen to full albums, I hardly leave the house.
We were better than The Cure.
Boil the hell out of it.
I said: “What, like bacon and burgers?” He said, “No. fatty don’t eat anything.”
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
During the funeral, his mother walks towards the director and says, "Jesus died for your scenes."
Because Dawn is tough on Greece
I can't tell you how much it means to me
So he goes online to find someone to fix his fence for him but he is unsatisfied with their prices, that is until he finds a Buddhist monk who will do it for free. He is initially surprised by this and assumes it might be a fake listing, but since it's free he feels like he has nothing to lose so he hires him. Sure enough a few days later the monk shows up with a toolkit in hand, the man shows the monk that his fence has been ripped out of the ground and that he needs to replace it. About an hour later the monk walks in and tells the man he is finished, and when the man goes outside he sees that the fence is perfect, thinking he can't just tell the monk to leave after doing such a great job for free he invites the monk inside for a cup of coffee. The man then starts talking to the monk, "It surprised me to see a monk offering services for fence repair, why do you do it?" he asked. The monk replied "religious reasons." The man then says "I don't know much about Buddhism, but why do you need to repair fences?" "Because" the monk replied, "You would be surprised at the amount of karma you get for reposting."
Oh wait, never mind. She was just getting the mail.