We are professionals
But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.
She whispers, "You look like you could use a little fun. For $100, I'll do anything you ask me to in three words or less." The man takes a drink of his beer, then takes out $100 and says, "Paint my house."
A spare, I guess
You can never find the barcode
And now we have a virus.
That day, I was bamboozled.
Awhile ago my roomate moved out, i was cleaning his old room when I stumbled upon a fake mustache in a box under his bed, when i asked him about it he replied:
“You finally found it, my secret stache”
Some elderly lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.
It becomes egg sighted
"Was it yuge?" Trump asked, visibly interested. "Oh, yes," said the aide, "there were millions of cheering people turning out to celebrate all along the streets." "Was it tremendous? Trump asked, visibly excited. "Oh, yes," the aid replied; "You were in a huge carriage, flanked by all the members of your family and cabinet. They were also very proud and happy, particularly your wife." Trembling with excitement and rubbing his hands together, Trump questions the aide: "And tell me, was I looking good?" The aide replies: "I didn't know, sir. The casket was closed."
Then I thought to myself no, it doesn't.
I told her she was starting to sound like my wife
"We don't sell alcohol to anyone under 18", says the bartender.
After all, it's cooked doe.
I told him I didn’t have time to.
You get repossessed.
One day I’ll pretend to be gay. I’ll make lots of female friends, gain their trust. Become their confidant, and when they least expected…BAAM!!!
I'll have sex with their boyfriends
…they have those tiny anty bodies…
A Tropical Depression
Because he conditioned it.
But it’s definitely up there.
They don’t know where home is.
I'm not sure either. Sir Cough I guess.
The bartender goes, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
It’s not my full-time job, I’m just doing it to make hens meet…