Well
Accordion to a recent study, 90% of people didn’t realize
I put an instrument at the start of this sentence.
WONKA: Congratulations Charlie! My chocolate empire is yours
CHARLIE: That’s wondrous! WONKA: Now, first thing will be handling this PR crisis. CHARLIE: Wait, wha- WONKA: A lot of kids just died in your factory, Charlie. And there’s a rumor that you apparently own slaves? Edit: credit for this amazing joke https://mobile.twitter.com/WenzlerPowers/status/1181625842885124096?s=20&utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Mod Applications
We’ve been talking about mod apps for years now, but it’s never actually materialized.Well, here’s the Google FormAfter a week or so we will look through all of the responses and stalk profiles do research and see who the best candidates are.
Did you know that the first French Fries weren’t cooked in France or America?
They were cooked in Greece.
![[OC] That sinking feeling](https://jokejet.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/g0njqonnv3r31-400x401.jpg)
I have a scary math joke
But I’m 22 to say it 🙁
What’s long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night ?
A new last name.
I’ve been killing rich parents, throwing spiders at nerdy teens, dumping acid on kids, and calling disabled people mutants.
I haven’t created a superhero yet, but it better happen soon because I need to be stopped.
How do fortune tellers greet each other?
You’re good, how am I?
Why did the tofu cross the road?
To prove it was just as good as chicken!
I’m Robin Hood, I take from the rich to give to the poor!
A poor peasant is traveling the woody paths of Barnsdale, when a hooded man walks up to him. Robin Hood: "HALT!" "I am Robin Hood, I take from the rich to give to the poor, now give me all your money!" Peasant: "I have nothing, I've been hungry for years you see" Robin Hood: "Very well then poor man, take this!" Robin Hood gives the poor man a sack, filled to the brim with gold coins. He then fades away into the forest. The peasant stares in disbelief, exclaiming: "I can't believe it, I'm Rich!" "HALT!"
Who can drink two liters of gasoline?
Jerry can!
I come from a family of failed magicians.
I've got two half sisters.
Yes.
Is time travel possible?
Why was Han Solo crying at the dinner table?
Because the meat was Chewie.
Apparently babies start walking at around 1.
Well, it's 2:30 now and she hasn't walked at all
You’re riding a horse full speed. There’s a giraffe next to you and a lion chasing you, what do you do?
Get your drunk ass off the carousel.
A 13 year old boy has difficulty with mathematics, failing in public school.
His parents were not religious but after a friend's suggestion they felt a private Catholic school may be more effective. His grades began to rise dramatically after this switch. Asked what has helped him so much, he responded "When I saw the guy nailed to the plus sign I knew they meant business!"
You know what they say about a guy with big feet
They say "Sorry sir we don't have your shoe size"
How does a tree access the internet?
It logs on.
1,000,000
^ That's a one in a million.
Making love for the first time
Before my girlfriend and i made love for the first time, she said, "i want this night to be magical" so after we made love i disappeared
Not really humour apart from how fucking absurd it is. How do people justify this?
https://ift.tt/37Fudf5
