Well well well
Her: Whatever floats your boat. Me: No. That’s buoyancy.
It will be a sadder day.
He was saying that I didn't understand what irony was! Which was ironic as we were both waiting for a bus at the time.
The Crimea River.
My therapist said I'm lack toes intolerant.
The clitoris only tastes like piss for the first few seconds.
To get to the other tide.
But coccaine is where I draw the line
some minority would probably mug me for it.
“How long do you have to do that for?” I asked. “When is he too old for it?” “Well, it’s a physical bond between a mother and her child isn’t it? It’s only the society that deems it unacceptable above a certain age.” “Yeah, shut up Joe – I was talking to your mother.”
He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times and on top of that 2 liters of mouthwash. As he arrived at the dentist he chewed 5 strong mints too. The dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident & relaxed he opened his mouth wide. The dentist got close enough & said, "Man did you have a 69 before you came here?" Kevin, shocked says, "Why, No! Does my breath smell like pussy?" The dentist says, "No, but your forehead smells like ass!!!"
A man was stopped by the police around 2 am. The officer asked him where he was going at that time of night. The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" The man replied, "That would be my wife."
Whether they like it or not
If it floats it's boy ant
Not all that useful but fun to push down the stairs.
That would be one stone, gold motherfucker
No text found
Something bad is going to happen. I can feel it.
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
…by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy…
Waiter: What would you like to order, sir? Termite: Table for two.
He said, "So you know how we tend to finish each others' sentences?"
A Soviet army is marching through a Finnish forest when a general hears a voice from over a hill shout: "one Finnish soldier is better than 10 Soviet soldiers!" The general promptly send 10 soldiers to root out the voice, there is gunfire, and then silence. After a few minutes, the voice shouts defiantly: "One Finnish soldier is better than a hundred Soviet soldiers!!" The general sends a hundred men to remove the nuisance, there is a racket of gunfire, and then quiet. The voice crys out loudly once more: "One Finnish soldier is better than a thousand Soviet soldiers!!" Enraged, the general sends a thousand men charging over the hilltop to shut up that voice once and for all, an epic battle rages, and then quiet. After a few minutes, a gravely wounded Soviet crawls back over the hill and crys: "It's a trap! There are two Finnish soldiers!!"
He finished his drink, and asked for his check. Duck billed platypus.
Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday, almost on Thursday, almost on Friday, almost on Saturday, almost on Sunday